Probably the most important thing we can do to get better is to become willing to be wrong. This was a central theme up North. The Big Book astutely notes that we addicts are obstinate types. We like to argue with you even when we know we are wrong. You say up, I say down. You say left, I say right. You say hi, I say fuck you. We just like to argue. Besides being ridiculous, this sort of attitude can become very dangerous for an alcoholic or an addict who is trying to get better.
Recovering, healing and growing is all about being wrong. In order to move forward, we peel away a slew of beliefs, notions and attitudes that we were wrong about. With addiction, we come to understand that we were wrong about having power over drugs and alcohol. We were wrong about being able to manage and control our lives during active addiction. We were wrong about being able to get better on our own. We were wrong about not needing spiritual help. We were wrong about all those people we resented. We were wrong about other people’s intentions and opinions of us. We were wrong about entire groups of people, about certain institutions and certain principles. Bottom line: Thinking that we are right about everything is by far the largest obstacle to getting better.
Other obstacles include stubbornness, such as our inability to let go of the preconceived ideas or prejudices we have. We think that if something isn’t there for us to see and touch, then it doesn’t exist. We aren’t willing to just step into the darkness on faith alone that we will be alright. But blind faith is exactly what the doctor ordered. I never would have recovered if I hadn’t taken a leap of faith. We don’t get the results until we take the leap first. Take the leap, do the work, let go and have faith in something other than our egotistical selves, and then God will restore us to sanity. Let go of our worldly agenda and instead put our spiritual growth first, ahead of everything… and then everything else will fall into place. If all I do is to simply do the right thing, I will somehow be provided with what I need. And that is nothing short of a miracle.
If we are to truly get better, we must be willing to be wrong. We must put our spiritual health before all else – before our jobs, plans, dreams, even our families and spouses. The #1 priority for any addict who plans on living a good life is his or her relationship with God.
God, teach me to be willing to be wrong…