Just like narcissists and borderlines, alcoholics & addicts step very close to sociopathic territory. The difference is that narcissists and borderline types are generally untreatable, whereas alcoholics and addicts get close to the edge but retain the capacity for honesty and therefore the capacity to heal. But it can get scary for while, as we exhibit horrifying traits and behaviors, to which we show no remorse.
In active addiction, we could not care less about our friends, families and spouses. In fact, we don’t give a shit about anybody. We have no idea what we are saying and what we are doing to others. We are cruel, manipulative and verbally abusive, yet are shocked at any such allegations. We can easily hurt others and walk away without so much as a thought. We refuse at all costs to take any responsibility for our behavior, always asserting how right we are about everything. We believe we are fair and just, even kind and patient. We wonder why others don’t see the world as we do, which is, of course, the right way. We wonder why the hell people wouldn’t want to be around us. And we are shocked to the core when people begin to shun us or sever their relationships with us. We turn on a dime and demonize the very folks who were up on a pedestal five minutes ago. Needless to say, this is the frame of mind of a severely damaged group of people.
The good news is that unlike clinical narcissists and the like, alcoholics and addicts can change and recover. With the capacity to be honest with themselves, some willingness, and the help of God, we can identify our elaborate defects of character through a written inventory and extract them through Steps 5,6 & 7. I realize this is a rather harsh predicament for those poor sociopaths out there. Some of them who are not too far gone may still yet have a tiny seed of honesty and goodness left. And to anyone who may be floored by this analysis… have you ever met a pure narcissist or jumped into the shark-infested waters of borderline personality disorder?
God, please help me to be more honest…