I always remember that we addicts and alcoholics are all the same, but always forget that we humans are all the same. Why can I humble myself regarding my addiction yet remain so arrogant when it comes to the rest of the world? Why do I still think I know something? Why do I still think that some others know nothing? The truth is that nobody is better or worse than anybody else.
But beyond that, why do I still think that our constructed human identities, our superficial problems and our meaningless opinions mean so much? Is it just me, or do we get sucked into a narrow little tunnel about our lives and the world?
I still manage to forget everything I’ve learned on a daily basis. It’s like I suddenly go mad and start taking everything so seriously. The state of the world, the economy, what people know or don’t know, what people believe or don’t believe, who has power and who doesn’t, or better yet… the petty little ridiculous dramas that I pathetically lapse into with relatives or friends. As if it matters all so very much. Actually, it only matters to us if it matters to us… get it?
The truth is that when I allow myself to get sucked into the nonsense of the world, or of identity, or of human drama… I have lost not only my mind but I have also lost my soul. I have lost the peace within, as I thrust myself out of the present (the only thing that exists) and into the past or the future.
Lao Tzu said it himself, If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.
God, teach me how to stay out of my head…