Just like untreated alcoholics get touchy about the fact that they are white knuckling it and pointlessly going to meetings, so do depressive types get touchy about where their depression came from. When I say that depression is our own fault, I’m not saying it to hurt our already sensitive feelings. I say it purely as a matter of fact.

     Nobody gives us depression or makes us depressed. Fact. You don’t catch depression in the air. Fact. We are solely responsible for our depression. Fact. Why is it so offensive to simply understand ourselves and what it is that makes us suffer? Everything we feel and everything we become is the result of our own choices, actions, reactions and responses. Nothing else is to blame for the mental disorders we end up with, just like nothing and no one is to blame for us becoming alcoholics or drug addicts.

     People also get touchy about going to the doctor for meds. I realize that if something is difficult to conquer on your own, or with the help of something Greater, it is natural to want to give up and turn to drugs for an easier, softer way. I don’t judge or criticize anybody who wants to take medication for depression.

     I’ve suffered from major depression. I know how it feels, as I was brutalized by it for years. Depression crippled me and at times paralyzed me. But it can be endured without drugs. I understand how it seems impossible to function and do anything. But it is not impossible. It only feels that way. We may even believe this is the only reality. But it is not. It is not impossible to walk through our feelings. Our feelings do not have the power to stop us. We are not screwed forever without meds.

     When I suffered from depression, I knew deep in my heart that medication was not a solution. Sure I knew that it might work like a charm. But I also knew that when I stopped taking it, I was right back to where I started – insane and untreated. I was still the same, fundamentally damaged person inside. I hadn’t fixed any of the things that made me depressed. I hadn’t worked on myself a single bit. That I couldn’t live with. I couldn’t take meds knowing that I’d remain completely fucked in the head, heart, mind and spirit. I wanted to change. I wanted to resolve my pain, expel my demons, and live free.

    True freedom means we forgo the psychotropics. I wanted to change my bio-chemistry without one of corporate America’s science projects. And yes, it can be done. Yes, we can change and conquer our depression. Yes, we can even alter our bio-chemistry through action alone. Try meditation.

     The point is, sure these powerful, mood-altering, brain-damaging drugs might work, but we can also accomplish the same thing in a real and true way. We can learn how to pray and meditate. We can exorcise our demons by finding our fault in our resentments and fears. We can take inventory on a daily basis. We can be of service and give to others.

     Remember that depression is a purely selfish state of being, so getting outside of ourselves is the single best thing for us. And if these things don’t work right away, it’s because they’re not meant to. It’s not supposed to be easy. It takes courage and guts. God doesn’t help those who don’t do some hard work first. Try some work and keep up with it, and see what happens. Eventually, the depression will dissipate as you empower yourself and become stronger through right action. Eventually, you will even out and be able to control your emotions.

     The point of life isn’t to be in a constant state of rapture anyway. The best thing for us is not to get too low or too high. Why don’t doctors promote the medicine of reality? I know, I know… because it doesn’t pay. Plus, it’s also fun for them to use us like guinea pigs. Pretty soon they’ll have the entire country on medication. That should be interesting.

     I know people will get mad at me and say that I could be telling someone not to take meds who then might go commit suicide. Well, first of all, I’m not telling anybody to do anything. I’m telling you what I did and what I know for myself. Secondly, sure someone might commit suicide without meds, but they also might take a bunch of meds, then stop taking them, then have a psychotic break, and then walk into the office with a loaded assault rifle.

     Do we really want to be re-wiring our brains without any idea of the possible consequences? If you’re an adult, then fine, do what you want. But let’s leave the kids out of it. What do you say? Don’t tell me a 3 year-old has bipolar and ADHD, and should be medicated to the point of catatonia.

God, help me get better through Your power alone…