Between a barrage of frantic questions that I desperately needed answered, my sponsor calmly smiled and said to me, “Hey, don’t forget to have fun. We need to have fun, too.” That was 8 years ago and I still often forget.
But he made a good point. After all, we are addicts and we will grab onto anything and everything that makes us feel good. We can become consumed by recovery, which is not a bad thing, but we must remember not to take life so seriously all of the time… or ourselves for that matter.
Go hang out with an old friend and engage in some uncontrolled self-deprecation. Go to the mall and make fun of the mall walkers. Go out to eat at the Cheesecake Factory and try to get through one of their monstrosities… or not. Go to the batting cages with a friend and smash the hell out of a few balls. Go to the movies with your wife or girlfriend. Go to the beach, lie down on the sand and fall asleep. Drive to Vermont and take the Winooski approach up Camel’s Hump mountain. Eat chocolate. Make cookies and eat the raw batter… or not. Drive into Boston and go to improv comedy in the North End after pasta and gelato. Go to the apple orchard with your family, drink some cider, and try to wait 5-mintues before inhaling the cider donuts. Do some yard work… or not. Meet up with some friends in recovery and don’t talk about recovery. Watch all 5 seasons of Breaking Bad in a week. Go play golf or tennis. If you don’t know how to, go learn. Or if you don’t have golf clubs, then don’t worry about it.
Maybe just sit down and relax.
Remember that you’re alive and you made it and you have everything that you need. Feel good knowing that you have conquered your demons and have changed yourself profoundly, which is rare. Or if you haven’t changed at all, then go do some work on yourself and don’t make excuses… and then feel the peace and calmness that comes along with having some purpose and some meaning in your life. You are free. Anything is possible.
God, help me to trust in my recovery so that I can let go and have some fun…