I went to boarding school. What a perfect place to cultivate my addiction – trapped inside an exclusive campus of affluent brats destined for four long years of self-worship. Nothing wreaks of self-importance quite like boarding school. And though I much prefer the company of someone who is well-educated and well-mannered, I just can’t help becoming slightly nauseous when a pair of Nantucket red khakis come into view.
I suppose the point of that is how my recovery has had to revolve entirely around the (attempted) removal of self-worship and self-importance. We are programmed to consider ourselves and our identities so very important. Throughout school we are awarded with prizes, medals and trophies of honor and achievement. So maybe that’s good for normal people, but it’s just about the worst thing for addicts. Addicts don’t need the hopium of self-importance blown up their asses. We need just the opposite.
Helping addicts involves humbling the shit out of them. Then we lay down at their feet the spiritual tools to build themselves back up. It’s pretty simple. Not easy, but simple. Remember that we are so full of self, so full of pride, so full of shit, that any stroking of our egos can actually be quite lethal. Don’t stroke addicts. Don’t give them the time of day. Don’t listen to them blab on for hours about their problems and their feelings, allowing them to feel like what they do is somehow justified. We are not victims. We are cowards.
I don’t care who you are, once you no longer have control over your drinking or drug use, or anything for that matter, that is the moment that you no longer have the right to continue doing it. There is such a thing as right and wrong. How do I know? Because I have experienced real, actual consequences of both right and wrong action.
My advice: Don’t be a coward. Don’t be that person that everyone finds repulsive, because trust me, if you’re an addict or an alcoholic, people most certainly find you repulsive. We need to ask God for the strength and the power to grow up and to start acting like adults… just like our elected officials, or should I say, our elected clowns. There’s no chance in hell any of them will pray humbly, act like adults, do the right thing and all resign, but we addicts certainly can. And by doing so, we can nourish and preserve our future.
Hey, someone needs to.
God, please rid me of the poison of self-importance and self-worship, that I may serve You and serve others…