Just came across this search phrase:
“Why are recovering alcoholics are so selfish?”
So sad, given the entire program of Alcoholics Anonymous warns that untreated and unattended selfishness will kill us whether we are using or not.
“Selfishness – self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles… So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible.” -Alcoholics Anonymous, p.62
Selfishness and AA is actually an oxymoron, though you wouldn’t know it today. The 12 Steps and selfishness are actually incompatible, but sadly, mainstream AA today has little to do with showing alcoholics how to recover. This new age of easier, softer ways is infecting newcomers with a sort of watered-down breed of selfish AA, all too willing to ignore the original wisdom and magic of the removal of self. Recovering from addiction was about two things: God and service. And now? Admittedly, I have no idea because I just can’t sit in meetings anymore and see what we’ve done to the program.
A recent commenter asserted confidently that recovering and recovered mean the same thing, that it’s just “SEMANTICS”. Lol. First, since the meaning of words is all we have to convey different ideas, the notion that they are the same thing is absurd. And this is sort of irrelevant, but semantics, as it were, is the branch of linguistics concerned with meaning (sense, reference, context, implication etc.), so the cliche’ “It’s just semantics” disproves the very point it’s trying to make on its face. It’s almost as bad as when people say, “I could care less”, which means the precise opposite of the sentiment they want to convey. If you could care less about something, then you care about it. “I couldn’t care less” is the proper phraseology. No offense.
At any rate, the above search question is from some poor soul who is obviously suffering the presence of someone ‘in recovery’, and it is proof the two terms are totally different, among other reasons. Anyone who is truly okay is no longer a selfish shithead. And that is the difference between recovering and recovered. Recovered individuals have a completely different attitude than the recovering man-child who still sees himself or herself as a victim and sees everything and everyone as an extension of his or her self, i.e. a narcissist.
Recovering alcoholics continue to be preoccupied with themselves – their comfort, their needs, their feelings. Yup, I know, it’s rough. Don’t worry, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m no angel myself, but I do know how selfish I was and I know when I’m still being selfish because I write inventory, which is also an active effort to remove the selfishness. This is crucial because selfishness is one of the most destructive forms of spiritual poison that exist. I also try to take care of my family and give most of my free time to this shit when sure I’d rather be playing golf or whining about my life in some meeting. Kidding, relax.
Remember, what we all do is creating the world we leave behind, so forget about just being your average sheep who has yet to wake up, being an active addict or a selfish recovering alcoholic sulking around and hanging on by a thread is unacceptable. And given those who are currently in power are doing one helluva job wrecking the country and the rest of the world, the future could use as much help as possible.