I know deep in my heart that there is no miracle drug for addiction, nor can any person, place or worldly thing change us or fix us. We absolutely MUST do the work for ourselves. Only through hard work, faith and courage might we induce a true miracle to occur, and only God Himself can perform such miracles. This I know with every cell in my body.
So the point of this blog was really just to get people thinking, challenge some perceptions, and to inspire others to employ and engage the prophetical solution contained within the Big Book entitled Alcoholics Anonymous.
Nine years ago, I had to have others take Steps and witness the relief and spiritual rapture that I myself witnessed while immersed in this process. Today, I have to admit the truth that I don’t really care what anybody does or doesn’t do. Sure I will continue to share my story and the solution, but there is no compulsion anymore. You really can’t chase anybody around, change them, or force them to do anything. Plus, most of us only hear and care about what we want to hear and care about.
However, I do know that God exists, and I know that if you truly want this incredible and mind-bending liftoff into the 4th dimension of existence, you will get it and get it in spades. I had a very strange and mystical white-light experience and have been forever changed since then. Everything that used to torture me and destroy me and kill me like addiction and depression is just gone. I have always been convinced that this sort of spiritual experience and fundamental psychic change is available to anyone who does the work thoroughly and fearlessly. Today I am not so sure.
For a miracle to occur, sure we have to do the work, but that’s the point, that there are a set of actions that can wholeheartedly restore us to sanity, effect real and lasting change, and eliminate the mental obsession to drink and use drugs. So my only question is, why not? Why not do it and give it everything that we have within us? Why not, if it will free us and give our families peace? And finally, why, if there is a solution, would we continue to be such cowards when we are putting so many others in such agony? Why would we continue to be so unbelievably selfish?
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
God, I pray for all who suffer to find peace, strength, success, joy and wonder…
I agree with everything you said. I have two addicted adult children, one who has been in recovery for over two years and the younger one who decided last night to take a walk on the dark side with heroin once again. I came home from work early as my recovering son told me he thought the younger son was going to steal some things, not that I have anything of real value. I came home and he called some of his drug friends to pick him up and he was about to take all of his electronics out of the house. Well, I saw the friends in the drive and basically told them to get the “f” away from my house. Could he turn around and do it tomorrow anyways he sure could. The crazy thing to me about all this is that he isn't a daily user he has suboxone so it isn't like he is going to get sick if he doesn't use but once he touches it the pull it has is incredible. Well, I can't live this way anymore, second time around is hard and he has been okay for a while, I guess if you call okay not using dope but popping benzos and not showering but it has worn me out. As a parent it is lose lose situation, throw them and they die and the rest of your life you live with guilt thinking you caused it to happen. I know parents that live with this. Let them stay and nothing changes if nothing changes, why stop the lifestyle if you have everything paid for and a warm bed. I make a modest income and I literally live paycheck to paycheck because I am stupid enough to pay for his cell, car insurance (when he is allowed to drive), cigarettes, etc. Oh I know I shouldn't do this and I have nothing left over for myself I am pathetic. I hear parents share at our naranon meetings that they have been paying for their addicted adult child for years and years and are afraid if they pull back something awful will happen, once again fear dictates all of this. I'm sorry for using your blog to vent but I read here often and realize what a total fool I am and yet my fears keep me from moving forward. My younger addict son tells me rehab doesn't work and I can't help him, well he has a valid point there. I've seen parents remortgage their house to pay for expensive rehabs only to have their child come out an use again. They call it relapse I call it choice. I should add that I saw my older son almost die from an overdose in my house. I am a christian and have faith in God and pray and pray but my son needs to be open to receiving God and having a spiritual awakening. I'm becoming hard, I don't feel the empathy I once did toward addicts because I believe that if you want change you can make things happen but you have to make better choices. All addicts blame everyone and everything for this addiction issues. I'm posting as anonymous because I am absolutely ashamed to share my name.
Keep preaching the truth. I love reading here.
God bless you. Thank you so much for reading. I certainly understand about lack of empathy, especially today where the mainstream is seeking to excuse addicts entirely from their behavior and from having any part in creating their demon. I also understand the shame thing, though you have nothing to be ashamed of. I believe our circumstances are 100% irrelevant. We are 100% responsible for who and what we become. The same two people can be thoroughly loved while one becomes a great success and the other becomes an addict. Conversely, the same two people can become thoroughly abused while one becomes an addict and the other becomes a great success. If we become heroes, we have made ourselves heroes. If we become addicts, we have made ourselves addicts, proclivity or not. Again, thank you so much for reaching out and sharing.