I’ve gotten shit in the past for saying there’s only one way, even though I’ve never said that. I also can’t save anyone. All I can do is try to inspire others to consider doing some work on themselves by telling them what worked for me and by illuminating flaws in the various conventional methods, because really, why bother engaging in anything at all if in the end what you are doing isn’t going to work?
Why stay all lit up and jammed on methadone, for instance, when it will ultimately fail you? Why talk to a therapist when you refuse to act? Why sit in group when you are not a victim of anything? Why collect a chip when you haven’t really accomplished anything? Why take psychotropics when your mental illness and underlying emotional-spiritual malady remain fully in tact? Why do anything if you know in your heart that you are bullshitting yourself? Besides, many of these methods were actually designed to fail you, such as relapse prevention and harm reduction.
Instead, do what is hardest. Walk through your fear. Confess all. Face those you’ve hurt or stolen from. Be uncomfortable. Sit with some pain and boredom like every other human being on the planet. Do you want others to remember you as a person of strength and character, or do you want to be remembered as an annoying, self-absorbed coward who wilted before any sign of discomfort or when faced with life’s challenges?
The trick to getting better is two-fold…
1) We absolutely MUST get underneath something, like, um, God. In other words, we have to stop thinking we can do anything, that we alone can get ourselves better, because we can’t. We must have faith in the unknown and trust in God. We have to trust in our recovery.
2) We have to stop being such a wimp about every little thing. It’s okay to suffer and not announce it on the nightly news. Just walk through it like everybody else. How messed up, insane and disgusting this world would be if everybody responded to boredom, discontent and discomfort by shooting up or swilling booze? So always ask yourself if you would recommend the way you are acting to all others, and if not, then you have given up the right to continue acting that way.
I do, however, believe in freedom, and if you want to be an idiot, you should have the freedom to be an idiot, but the truth is that thoughts and feelings aren’t gonna kill you, and if you let them stop you, quite frankly you deserve to be an addict and to die an addict. Why? Because your cowardice comes at the expense of your family who cannot help but loving you.
If there is some uncomfortable thing you refuse to do, I wouldn’t waste my time sponsoring you because you will never get better. If you cannot or will not go to any lengths to recover, there is really no point to even try, as you will ultimately fail. In that case, you might as well keep it up with the drugs and the booze because there isn’t any freedom for the faint of heart, mind and spirit. Sorry.