Reasonable Assumption

     People write me some extremely humbling and gracious comments and emails, but I also get this once in a while… “You’re such a fucking idiot! This is garbage! This is so pointless! You’re so fucking stupid to assume that what you think, that your own specific experience is somehow relevant and applies to anybody OTHER THAN YOURSELF! We’re all different you stupid fuck! Ugh, this sucks! Useless!!! You’re evil!”

    Well… that is both true and not true. You see, because we share the same problem, the same allergy and mental obsession, as well as many similar thoughts, feelings and life consequences/problems from our addiction and/or alcoholism (same thing), it is reasonable to assume that we also share a similar experience and similar challenges in attempting to get better. That is just common sense and logic. To say that it’s totally different for everybody is not only ignorant, but foolish.

 NoWhining Square Sticker 3

     Addicts and alcoholics suffer from a life problem, a being a human being problem. We are addicted to comfort and have tremendous difficulty growing up, becoming adults, assuming personal responsibility and understanding that life isn’t about us feeling good 24/7.

     Sorry guys, hate to spoil the fun, but to be human is to experience a range of thoughts and feelings, some good, some bad. To be human is to face the many physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual challenges of living life. To be human is to suffer from time to time.

     But what happens when a child wants what they want and don’t get it? That’s right, they whine, and this common experience of a child well defines being an alcoholic or an addict. We are essentially just children in adult bodies.

     So to conquer the condition of juvenile narcissism, we become willing to feel what we’re feeling, to become accountable for who we are, what we’ve become and what we’ve done to ourselves and others, to take responsibility for our needs and the needs of others, to roll up our sleeves, do some work and stop whining and complaining about everything.

     Besides, nobody wants to be around a constant complainer. It is draining. Worse, we who dump our woes onto others have no idea just how selfish we are being. We have no idea that we are sucking other people dry, robbing them of their own time, energy, patience and love. Trust me, nobody wants to hear it and nobody cares. They actually have their own lives, challenges and struggles to deal with. Imagine that. 

6 thoughts on “Reasonable Assumption

  1. May we all pray for continued growth and effectiveness in carrying this message. Its obvious that the person who left you that comment is suffering. Let's pray for him too. There is a common solution to the common peril we share. We are people that normally would not mix but we all have no control over the amount of alcohol or drugs we put in our bodies and once we start we can not stop. The book Alcoholics Anonymous tells us precisely how to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. Thank you for your selflessness in writing this blog. I am very grateful and appreciative of your efforts. Be well.

  2. Can you believe it, Janet, that many of us really have no clue that others feel anything, or that it must be nothing compared to what we feel? Narcissism 😉 xx

  3. I like this post too, and I would like to mention another book that loosely follows the 12 step program. Self Help for Fear and Anger, published by recovery international. I do enjoy your blog as it reminds me to maintain perspective when dealing with my own demons as well as my family's. Thanks!

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