Year ago, I had a sponsee who I used to rip into with great consistency, as someone lovingly did for me years before that. Yes, lovingly. He and many other guys I used to rip apart knew that I loved them, that they could trust me, and that I wasn’t delivering judgment as we think of it – in some asshole tone of voice and/or while choking them in a headlock. They respected me because they finally met someone who could see through the miles of bullshit (which could have been any recovered addict), and who was willing to be honest with them about it.
Anyway, I remember saying something like, “Hey dude, listen, sorry if that sounds harsh and…” when he quickly interrupted me saying, “No, no, I love it. It’s good for me. It’s just what I need. Keep it comin’.” I kid you not. And he meant it. He loved being judged, but (and here’s the caveat) by a recovered addict he trusted and liked as opposed to a parent or spouse or some clueless doctor or shrink.Why? Because he knew that I used and felt and thought the way he did and he knew that I knew that everything coming out of his mouth was bullshit.
Any addict who is serious about his recovery, who is excited and passionate to grow spiritually and change, wants to be judged properly (tactfully and unemotionally), and other recovered addicts are perhaps the only ones in an appropriate position to accurately judge them. Doctors, specialists and shrinks generally have no clue what they are talking about and therefore make little sense to the addict. They can try all you want, but sorry, most addicts will only listen to other addicts who have gotten better and therefore have something that they want. Do you see?
If you say, “No charlie, you are wrong! My addict wails and moans in deep, soul-crushing pain. They cry ‘don’t judge me! I need to be loved, not judged! I need to be accepted for exactly who I am!'” Um, trust me, the only addicts saying that are addicts who still want to use. Addicts who whine about external things, who tell you to love them and meet them where they are because ‘relapse is part of my recovery’, well, they are fully committed to continuing to use. Addicts who talk that way have no real intention of actually changing, let alone staying sober for any length of time.
We don’t need hugs and kisses and compassion and kindness and mind-altering psychotropics and substitution drugs nearly as much as you think. And by the way, none of that is a novel approach. We have always tried this nonsense. Nobody can get the addict better, and no pill can fix an addict, let alone stop him from using. The term ‘miracle drug’ is an oxymoron, as miracles only occur in the absence of drugs. That much seems obvious, but hey, I guess people will believe what they want to believe.
Personally, I don’t need or want any of that shit. I only wanted it when I was very ill, when I wanted to get jammed and live for habitual comfort. You see, we’re not nearly as pathetic and disabled and diseased as we have led you to believe, and now everybody, including the medical establishment, has taken the bait and defined us as permanently incapable, when the truth is that addicts who don’t get better simply don’t want to get better.
The sad truth is that addicts refuse to lift a finger to even support their own habits. Nowadays, they are almost annoyed when they don’t get free stuff. They feel completely entitled to free methadone, free food, free rent, free everything. The dependency state has spilled over into addiction, as we now approve services for potheads who like to steal mommy’s Percocets when they feel a little depressed after running out of pot. By the way, how do people think this stuff paid for? Trust me, you would fall right out right out of your chair while barfing uncontrollably like the girl in the Exorcist if you knew where your taxes were going.
