A young pothead wrote me to tell me that his mom is a big fan but wanted some validation on a horrifying injustice he has been suffering at the hands of his mom, who has suspended his driving privileges for 30 days for smoking pot. Unbelievable! How could any parent not want their child to rip bong hits all day long? I don’t get it! Seems like an entirely reasonable request, regardless of the inconvenient fact that smoking pot all day long as his brain is still developing is beyond stupid or that he is still living under the roof of his parents who raised him from birth.

     But if you think that is a brutal injustice, wait till you here this: she has a glass of wine at night!!!! The hypocrisy!!! A parent in their own house drinking wine! It’s almost too much. I’m offended. In case you haven’t been able to deduce the powerful logic here, the argument goes something like this: if mom drinks some wine at night, I should be able to get lit up all day long like an idiot and drive around illegally doing absolutely nothing except putting others at risk. Again, a most tragic injustice indeed.

 

     Joking aside, I told him what I would tell anybody, and that is what your mom does or doesn’t do is irrelevant to the choices you make, as we are 100% responsible for our choices. She could wake up and smoke a foot long blunt and still have every right to demand that you do not smoke pot while living in her house or while driving around. I told him that instead of focusing so much on what mom and others do, just focus on YOUR life and what YOU are doing. Find a purpose. Find something productive to do. And if you are so okay, why can’t you stop? I told him that he is using his mom drinking wine as an excuse to smoke pot, which in his mind, somehow minimizes “just smoking pot.” And if none of those arguments make any sense, have a gander at what you look like sucking on a thick tube and see if that makes sense.

     The best was that he said she should have to stop drinking wine if he has to stop smoking pot, that it’s only fair. Look, besides being totally full of shit, he actually seemed like a nice kid. But sorry, you’re never going to get me to validate that kind of thinking. Also, I don’t feel bad for you. I feel bad for your mom. Like I said, if pot is really no big deal, as you say, then why don’t you just stop? Also, don’t tell your mom what to do, kiddo. One day you will realize how inappropriate that is… one day if and when you finally begin to grow up.