Below is content that was added after the initial publication of the Step book, along with a few changes/additions to the 4th Step resentment inventory examples. The first paragraph and the inventory changes are now reflected as of Feb. 18, 2016. The last paragraph about codependency will be reflected shortly and I’ll let you know when that has occurred. At any rate, here are all of the additions so you have them. Whoops, sorry. What can I say? When you write, edit, proof, design and have acute baby brain, this is the kind of shit that happens 😉
“How about money and gambling? Sure there is nothing wrong with making money or even accumulating great wealth. But when we lose power over money, the pursuit of obtaining it begins to own us. As we become more obsessed and preoccupied, it is only misery that follows.
Becoming preoccupied with the accumulation of something robs us from existing wholeheartedly in the present moment. As well, it robs us from valuing and finding pleasure in other more meaningful things, such as our families and the greater world around us. The tragic irony of the money obsession is that the more we focus on it, the less money we tend to obtain. I personally make this mistake frequently, especially as more money is required to support a growing family. When we let go and focus on being present and giving ourselves to the totality of our lives, the money tends to materialize. This has nothing to do with the necessity of working hard to achieve success, but we must value things properly in our lives to effect both peace and abundance. And usually the stuff we want comes to us when we’re busy doing other things.
Gambling, like drug addiction, will rob us of inner peace just as fast as using drugs. When we gamble and win, the satisfaction is gone almost instantly, as it is soon replaced by the thought, “maybe I can do that again and again and again?” The tragic irony of the gambler is that they are actually most satisfied and content when they have lost everything. Why? Because they cannot gamble anymore. The angst of having money that needs to be gambled is no longer existent. For a gambler, having no money at all is the closest they will come to inner peace… until, of course, power over money is regained. All of these examples are merely reflections of the same universal truth, which is that becoming obsessed with anything will only rob us of our joy and serenity. Many obsessions will rob us of our very lives, as we chase them all the way to the gates of death.” – Anybody Can Take Steps, Chp. 1, p. 23-4.
“ Sometimes being with an addict puts the codependent in a position of power, as the addict’s illness and total lack of control surpasses that of their own. They appear and thus feel as if they are the adults in the room, as they have to effectively manage someone else. But what happens when the addict actually recovers and there is no distraction anymore? The internal eruption begins and the codependent is faced with the enormous task of being present with their emotional selves. In fact, some relationships will fall apart when the addict actually recovers, as the dynamics have changed fundamentally. Remember that the codependent fell in love with the active addict and the active addict fell in love with a caretaker. The couple may realize they don’t truly resonate or even like the “real” or sober person and we can liken this to meeting a whole new person.” –Anybody Can Take Steps, Chp. 1, p. 29