Obviously the trick to contentment is to empty the mind, to stop expecting, to stop controlling, to just accept whatever is happening because as soon as you try to change something that you cannot change, you begin to suffer. But then you have addicts…
A dad once peddled an entire package of that ‘Beyond Addiction’ fluff to me. He wasn’t the first and I’m quite sure he won’t be the last. Ironically, both of his sons were addicts with whom I had worked, and yes, with love and tact I ripped into both them quite a bit. Both eventually went up North, took Steps wholeheartedly as laid out in the Big Book, adopted the firm belief and necessity of putting their spiritual growth and their God-conscience first above all else, and yes, both are now recovered.
To push forward and change, there has to be a dissonance, an interruption, a blast of sorts. At some point we must get frustrated, pissed off and angered, which is a perfectly natural reaction to hearing some truth about ourselves, our lives, our bullshit and the phony caricature we have become. Then, God willing, we calm down afterwards and realize, even subconsciously, that hey, that guy was right about me. I haven’t really been digging deep. I haven’t truly changed. Then and only then can we turn around with renewed strength, willingness and clarity to peel away yet another layer, to go deeper, become honest and finally begin moving forward in earnest.
Trust me, no addict will change in therapy (although he will def show up every week if you give him free methadone). Addicts need a set of actions to take. They need to simply start working and taking right action, and then the mind follows. You cannot teach an insane person how to think right. CBT is backwards for addicts. We are so warped that we must simply begin to act right and gradually the mind becomes sane once again. I realize that many psychologists make their money on fluff and friendship, and while that may work just fine for other types, for hardcore addicts, it doesn’t work at all.
I also realize that many think you can’t possibly effect positive change by telling the truth to addicts, but they’ve never really tried it tactfully. Look, I realize that nothing outside of the addict can change him or push him to act and I’ve written just that more times than I can count. Many though have asked me to weigh in and if you at least want a hand to play, you must set a boundary or an ultimatum and honor it by following through. Those who say they’ve tried this and failed have probably never followed through with anything.
If the addict doesn’t get better and the relationship is toxic, what other choices do you have? Continuing on is only a way to dishonor yourself while simultaneously doing a disservice to the addict by allowing him or her to continue being showered with privileges such as your love, friendship, time, money, energy, etc. So don’t put up with any shit and don’t try something unless you’re actually going to do it and see it through until the end. Many do not follow through with anything, especially addicts and codependents. Either way, the truth is I’ve never really cared to give specific, personal advice. What I do is to simply share my experience, what has worked and what has failed. The very description of the blog reads in part, “This blog is not intended to be case specific advice. We must all find our own answers.” I’m always telling people not to listen to me but to think and act for themselves.
I realize that therapists, counselors and teachers etc. criticize me often, but that is because they are hopeless in helping addicts. They can’t do it. They don’t even understand it, so we can’t blame them. They’re just not capable, especially since understanding the nature of addiction lies outside the scope of the establishment brainwashing they have suffered during college and/or graduate school. Most people are blind to the fact that universities and professors are hired and used as puppets to promote the status quo, to pump ideas and theories that serve the elite while slowly ruining the people and the country (such as Keynesian/Marxist economics and so forth). The last thing you want to do is create problems where none exist, whether individual or societal. Besides, regardless of how hard you try, you cannot alter the business cycle, let alone the course of nature and the very cycles that define us and all of existence. Just the notion itself is ridiculous, and intervention can fast become tyrannical, as we are seeing.
Moreover, there has always been an active effort to silence opposing views and destroy the reputation of real academics who try to publish real research and truth. Knowledge, science and academics are not the problem. The problem is co-opted academics and loony tune professors. 20 or 30 years from now, most of the status quo bullshit everybody believes will be well disproved and the government will find new theories to fund and peddle in order to ply the public to accept their well disguised but self-serving, globalist agenda. Hegelian Dialectic – problem, reaction, solution. Very clever. See “Sharyl Attkisson’s Ted Talk” on ‘astroturf’ and media manipulation. For instance, The Cloud Mystery is fascinating, but you can see what real scientists have to deal.
Now, sure this is a tangent and you’ll have to forgive me, but the truth is that the people are considered scum to the elite, despite what you hear at the podium, especially under the current regime. The people are dirty, unwashed animals who know nothing and need to be told what is best for them. What breathtaking arrogance. The people are but tax slaves for the government to milk on a daily basis until they have finally bled out and become enraged, at which point the moonbat academics give them some fictional ‘social injustice’ to rant and rave about to divert attention away from what’s really going on – economic decline and government expansion/overreach. When you finally wake up and remove the veil of propaganda, it is really quite an event.
But trust me dear pot-smoking, highly offended, gender fluid college students, the solution is not to bankrupt every citizen and the entire country (while simultaneously demanding they conform to your every view) especially when our Debt to GDP ratio is 105% and unfunded liabilities exceed $200,000,000,000,000 (insane). PLEASE have a look at the US Debt Clock and tell me if those numbers make any sense. This is very immature and short-term thinking. It is very irresponsible. When you drive capital away and reduce wealth, you crush the economy (not to mention human spirit) and depress GDP. It is deflationary. How does that help? I don’t get it.
It is actually immoral to tax people. And the estate tax is not just immoral, it is outright theft. As well, when you promote the doctrine of envy and dependence and make everyone the same, you crush individual thought, speech, ambition, originality, independence and incentive to push oneself, take risks, strive and fight for success. Those who live in the real world understand that. See Why Capitalism is Great.
We should ask ourselves, is that what we really want to do? Do we really want to relegate everybody to the ash heap of mediocrity and hand all of the power the government? I don’t understand, how is that a solution as opposed to a direct affront to humanity and freedom?
PS Smoking pot ruins your brain, contrary to popular belief… that is, if you have a brain to begin with.
PPS Just saw this mini-review of “Confessions of Congressman X” on Martin Armstrong’s blog, which I strongly recommend (the blog that is). People should also watch the new documentary on Clinton Cash, which gives a glimpse of how corrupt they are to the bone, let alone morally bankrupt. Unfortunately, the movie is but a few drops in the bucket compared to the extent of criminal activity, but hey, it’s a start. Also see Chris Hedges in “Brace Yourself! The American Empire is Over” & “A Career Criminal”.
PPPS By the way, few are aware because (as usual) it was jammed down our throats (no pun intended) like a thief in the night, but the “bathroom bill” was just passed here in Massachusetts (for like .03% of the population). Wait, so I can wake up tomorrow, choose to identify as a woman, walk into the ladies’ room or the girls’ showers and whip my junk out? Huh? Does that apply to grown men working at public middle schools as well? So there is no biological requirement for the law? So my little girl should just “get used to seeing male genitalia”, as a recent NC Observer editorial suggests? Sorry, that’s no gonna happen. When did it suddenly become offensive or discriminatory to use the designated male bathrooms and showers if, um, you were born with a penis? Sorry, but you haven’t been traumatized by having to use a bathroom designated for your own biological sex. It is entirely your prerogative if you want to choose to identify as a woman or a man or an elephant for that matter, but being comfortable all of the time is not a basic human right. There are many things that make me uncomfortable but I don’t get, nor do I want to demand a law for them all. Why? Because that would violate the basic human rights of others. AG Lynch likened men and women’s bathrooms to Jim Crow laws… are you kidding me? Are we losing it?
Contrary to popular belief, gender is not just a social construct and using pronouns is not a form of bigotry. I once had a nutcase professor who (somewhat angrily ((go figure)) taught us that the only difference between men and women was “some pop in and some pop out.” Lol. Needless to say, she didn’t have children, let alone any clue what she was talking about. Why is it that people without children (and who don’t work) are seemingly clueless about all sorts of things? Anyway, I just don’t get it. How is this law (in its current form) not at best an affront to personal privacy and free speech and at worst an effort to unravel the very fabric of society? What about women’s rights? No offense (pun intended), but if some dude follows my little girl into the bathroom, we’re gonna have a little problem.