|“Sorry Mom, sorry Dad, I have a disease!”|
That said, to go from a physically sober nightmare to a recovered person, the addict must, to put it lightly, deal with their shit. The physically sober addict is not only a child, but is also a ticking time bomb. He or she is filled to the brim with emotional and spiritual poison, having racked up a lifetime of resentment, fear and sexual misconduct. As well, patterns and behaviors such as dishonesty, manipulation and selfishness that destroy relationships and tear hearts apart have essentially become hard-wired in the addict or alcoholic.
So does anybody think these things are just going to magically disappear when the addict gets sober? Moreover, for anyone who thinks any kind of therapeutic program that simply complements suboxone or methadone use will lead to anything but disaster is sorely mistaken. In fact, addicts on methadone are actively growing sicker on every level. All of them WILL relapse, and when they do, the run they go on will be epic, if not end their lives, as we are dealing with a coiled spring. Good solution. Oh, and the idiotic progressives in government actually have to audacity to make taxpayers subsidize methadone clinics. Truly, we live in a fallen world.
Dealing with our shit is to identify and understand the mountain of both inner and outer work that lies before us. A written inventory, if done fearlessly and thoroughly will encompass resentments, fears and sexual misconduct that goes back to the earliest of childhood memories. We must then peel back layer upon layer of bullshit to find the truth about how we ourselves birthed these resentments and fears. Though we may pull our hair out and scream that we were the victims of some event, somewhere in the ether of truth is our culpability. It is our own self-seeking, selfishness, dishonesty and fear that caused our resentments. And if this stuff isn’t expelled via shining the light of truth and personal responsibility on them, they will destroy us as effectively as drugs themselves. Resentment and fear are emotional and spiritual poisons.
Of course, writing about three to five thousand answers on how we caused our own anger and resentment is just the icing on the cake. We have left a behind us a wake of destruction – relationships, bridges, debts, personal failure and unfinished business of all sorts. We are stunted, and haven’t progressed and matured as we should have… and thus the amends and rigorous work begins. Amends, by the way, to our family and friends, especially our parents, never ends. The last thing they need is some rehearsed soliloquy of remorse. I’m quite sure they’ve had enough of us talking and blabbing on and on and on. How about we shut up and let them do the talking at their own convenience. I’m sure they might have a few words for us at some point.
What they want is for us to change, to grow up, to act like a decent, kind, respectful, honest and helpful human beings day after day, month after month, and year after year. And they should. After walking backwards for so long, we certainly have a tremendous amount to give back. Addicts on methadone or suboxone are going to be absolutely useless to anybody. And recovery is synonymous with being useful. I personally had to work 24/7 to recover. It was imperative that I try to repair relationships and broken hearts, get out of debt, finish school, work my ass off, take other addicts through the Big Book, run groups, write, educate, etc. etc. etc.
Furthermore, we have a plethora of unfinished busisness – school, jobs, the acquisition of skill sets, knowledge and life wisdom have all taken a serious hit. The sober addict must work and progress constantly, running full speed ahead and never looking back. Fuck ten years of therapy and being coddled like the mellenials of today who are taught they never should have to feel discomfort or suffer rejection of any kind. Forget this nanny state nonsense. If you want your addict to act like a whiny little child who expects everything for free with the least effort possible, then yeah, keep giving them participation trophies and sobriety chips.
Recovery = dealing with your shit.
“I don’t need no 12-Step, do-the-right-thing bullshit, Ma! I just need my freakin’ dones and seroquel bitch… and someone bettah pay for that shit son! Now gimme some money, bake me some cookies and shut the fuck up, ma dukes! Oh, and please don’t say get a job or none of that shit to me ’cause that’s like a really offensive micro-aggression yo. That’s some racist bullshit khed!”
LOL. Right, okay.