The beginning of humility and health is to understand that you were created by God and that you are not Him. Should any individual desire to get well, heal, grow in character and evolve spiritually, showing some deference to our Creator is not only the proper attitude to assume, it is imperative. The notion that everything good you do, that everything good you accomplish and that all of your blessings can solely be attributed to yourself and your greatness, and conversely that all failures can be attributed to something or someone other than you is what defines the mind and heart of a narcissist. Is it not pure vanity, let alone delusion, to take credit for everything good in your life?

The addict has lived a life of pathological self-centeredness. Pure logic thus dictates he or she must view self and life in precisely the opposite way. The process of written 4th Step inventory allows the addict to heal and procures for him full access to God. It is not enough just to believe. What good is it to accept Jesus and His Father only to continue living selfishly, to continue to live in sin, to continue hurting others, to continue indulging in one’s flesh at every turn? Belief itself is a commitment to change the way we think, speak and act… and if not, it is hollow and meaningless.

The following chapter from my book, “Anybody Can Take Steps” delineates in detail this process of exorcizing and expelling a lifetime of emotional and spiritual poison, accepting responsibility and becoming accountable for our entire lives. We create who we are and what we become. We are not victims and nothing outside of ourselves and our perceptions and reactions is to blame for how we feel and for the circumstances in our lives. We addicts must do one simple thing: Get over ourselves.

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STEP 4

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

     Why keep such a miraculous elixir in the dark, hidden from the rest of the world? Written moral inventory is a mind-opening and potentially life-changing tool that should not be exclusive to alcoholics and drugs addicts. The 4^th Step has the power and wisdom to entirely shift our perception of self and others. As we reach new depths of honesty and clarity, the 4^th Step combined with the 5^th, 6^th and 7^th may even restore or dramatically alter our brain chemistry. How could it be? Because we are about to rid ourselves of a lifetime of resentment, fear, self-deception and the emotional turmoil that has fueled and maintained our patterns of thinking and behaving. Imagine exorcising years of baggage you’ve been lugging around and the effect that would have. Sure we can become ‘hard wired’ by our habits and our ways, but our brain chemistry is by no means static and can change at any time, especially when such an enormous amount of internal filth falls from you instantly. The potentially euphoric emptying out and shower of relief is something you do not want to miss. 

     In our 4^th Step, we sit down and write resentment inventory, fear inventory and sex inventory to expel the emotional and psychological garbage that has piled up inside of us. We are human. Nobody is immune or exempt from anger, resentment, bitterness, frustration, judgment, projection, false assumptions, anxiety, fear, dishonesty, self-seeking and selfishness. Emotional or spiritual poison left unchecked can turn into a volcano just waiting to erupt… yet once dissolved, there is room to allow for something much greater and more powerful to come in and fill the void. The idea for addicts and alcoholics is to replace our addiction with something at least as powerful as the addiction itself, and the same goes for any other demon. Soft, fluffy, hollow remedies won’t work when we are powerless over something. We are going to need an engine with some real horsepower.

     The problem with harboring resentment, fear and sexual misconduct is that they slowly rot us from within, eating away at our physical, mental and spiritual health. Resentment is like a psychic acid, slowly burning and corrupting the soul and eventually destroying us with jade, cynicism and self-delusion until we wind up depressed and full of self-pity. It will convince us that we are somehow victims and that something outside of us is to blame for our woes, but despite the problems we may have, whether real or imagined, to blame anything but ourselves is false. The French philosopher, Jean Paul Sartre, once asserted that our “existence precedes our essence”. While we are certainly born with certain proclivities, traits and personalities, the idea is that we ultimately make ourselves into who we become, regardless of external circumstances. If I become a hero, I have made myself a hero. Conversely, if I become a failure, I have made myself a failure. Inventory teaches us this truth, but only if we are willing to find it and then accept it once we do.  Continue reading →

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STEP 3

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God/Jesus as we understood Him.

     Sounds great, but how exactly do I turn myself over to God? What does that even mean? For now, let us consider this Step to be a vow – a promise to ourselves, to others and to our Higher Power to grow along spiritual lines and to repel anything that prevents us from doing so. On a practical level, we are vowing to cultivate and expand our conscience, and then never to ignore it. As well, we are not going to consciously erect any walls between us and our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health. 

     For addicts and alcoholics, when we remove substances and begin taking right action, we should experience the return of our conscience – that feeling in our gut which tells us if something is right or wrong – and our new job is to listen. For some, this will become an entirely new purpose in life. If my gut tells me something is right, I can no longer ignore the message but must gather the courage to act, and if I have no courage, I pray for it. If courage does not immediately come and I continue to be filled with fear or reluctance, I have to push myself to walk through it and act, knowing that if I do not, bad things will happen. When we fail to act on our conscience, we gradually lose our spiritual connection and become ill again. 

     On the other hand, if my gut tells me that something is wrong, I refuse and repel such a thing at all costs, and again, I pray for the willingness and power. I refuse to act, speak or even think in a way that is harmful to self or others. If I see wrongdoing around me, I do not selfishly remain in my comfort zone, but instead speak up and do the right thing. By diligently obeying our conscience, we nourish it like a tree. Soon it becomes rooted and grows taller. The roots spread, its foundation becomes more secure and the wind cannot blow it over. Our tree grows fuller and more beautiful as the light inside of us shines brighter. Following our conscience is the way to recovery, as it heals the soul of a person. With each right action, we draw closer to God. Continue reading →

I wrote this book years ago with the intention to make the solution approachable and accessible to those with particular cynicism and aversion to the truth of God. I would write it differently now as my conviction to Biblical truth is certain and firm beyond my own human grasp. I wrote a blog years ago about agnostics etc and this is not a bet to taken lightly. It is also not a bet to define on your own, to suit your own conception built from pride or ego. Yes, God exists, and so does His son, Jesus Christ, and the truth of His gospels. Please read them and you will see how important this is for your life, your soul and your relationship to God. Do not be fooled by new-age spirituality. The devil is a charmer and comes cloaked with enticing words and ideas. But we are not God and we do not save ourselves. New age spirituality loves to promote this type of narcissism. But the truth is you are created by God and everything good that you do is powered by God and everything good that you have is given to you by God. So ask yourself, why is it that you can believe in God but not the Son of Man? How can you believe in the word of God but not accept his Son and truth of His gospel? The only answer is pride, and this is precisely what fuels Satan. This is what Satan wants you to believe. The evidence and proof of God and Christ the Son is there. Proof of God is all around you. Just open your eyes. All maladies are different manifestations of the same underlying problem: spiritual illness. And pure logic thus dictates that a spiritual problem necessitates a spiritual solution. That solution is, as it was written, Jesus Christ. To deny Him is to deny God. Read your Bible. All the answers to life are right there. Continue reading →

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STEP 1

Admitted we were powerless over          ?          – that our lives had become unmanageable.

     Many people today falsely believe the notion of powerlessness to imply permanent defeat, but defeat is by no means where the Twelve Steps intend us to stay. In fact, the very purpose of understanding what we are powerless over is to regain power. This concept is more about awareness, acceptance of our present reality, and experiencing some humility, all of which appropriately characterize a first crucial leap forward in our personal growth and evolution.  Continue reading →