Non-Spiritual Basis?

     “Whether a person can quit upon a non-spiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not.” -Alcoholics Anonymous, p.34

     Translation: If you are too far gone, chances are that you cannot recover without the help of God.

      The Big Book also says, “Though there is no way of proving it, we believe that early in our drinking careers most of us could have stopped drinking. But the difficulty is that few alcoholics have enough desire to stop while there is yet time.” -Alcoholics Anonymous, p.32

     Translation: Before you mutated yourself into a chronic, hopeless drunk, you may have been able to quit without spiritual help. You may have been able to still recover on your own power and self-will… but maybe not, hahaha.

     The Big Book spends the first 43 pages just trying to drill a 1st Step into our heads. There is no moving forward until we know with every cell in our body that we are powerless over drugs and alcohol. We must know that despite all of our brains and talents and skills and other faculties, we cannot fix ourselves. We are not capable of recovering on our own because we have lost the power to do so. We are not capable of recovering without spiritual help. In order for the true alcoholic or drug addict to get better, he must smash the notion that he can get himself better.

     Once we let go and realize that alone we are not powerful enough, then real growth and recovery is possible. Then we can get underneath something and accept that we may need a much greater power to fix us. We have tried for years on our own and we have failed miserably. Only a miracle will fundamentally rewire our brains and restore our hearts and spirits. Isn’t it time to let go of our arrogance? Isn’t time to stop holding onto our pride and ego?

     And even if you could recover on your own, isn’t it better to think this way? Isn’t it better to live with some humility? Giving ourselves too much credit for getting better will lead the addict right back to his warped thinking. He will think,

     Gee, look at me. I’m the man! I got myself all better. Hmmm, maybe I can control my addiction this time since I’m so talented and amazing and powerful…

God, teach me that alone I am useless…

Giving Up Rights

     Once I lose control of something, I give up the right to continue doing it. I give up that right simply because I’ve lost control. There are consequences to losing control. I hurt myself and more importantly, I hurt others. Beyond that, I become useless to the world. I fail to contribute to my fullest capacity. I become irresponsible as a human being. Losing control means that the world has lost a productive soul.

     The second I can no longer control my drinking, I no longer have the right to drink. The second I can no longer control my drug use, I no longer have the right to use drugs.

     And it’s the same with every other destructive behavior, action, thought, word, or state of mind.

     If I lose control of my anger, I no longer have the right to get angry (not be angry, get angry). If I lose control over my depression, I no longer have the right to get depressed (and if it happens, then it is my sole duty not to STAY depressed, but rather pull myself out). If I lose control of my anxiety, I no longer have the right to be anxious. If I lose control of my selfishness, I no longer have the right to be selfish. If I lose control of my narcissism, I no longer have the right to be narcissistic. If I lose control of my self-seeking, I no longer have the right to be self-seeking. If I lose control of my integrity, I no longer have the right to be dishonest. If I lose control of my fear, I no longer have the right to live in fear. If I lose control of my mental illness, I no longer have the right to remain mentally ill. If I lose control of my financial responsibility, I no longer have the right to be financially irresponsible. If I lose control of my laziness, I no longer have the right to be lazy. If I lose control of my physical health, I no longer have the right to be physically unhealthy.

     Apply this to anything… especially if you’re an addict. There are no excuses for losing control. It’s nobody’s fault but our own.

     Anyone who has the capacity to be honest with themselves can yield (granted it’s a process) to any of these negative behaviors. So there is no excuse to stop doing any of the above things unless we do not have the capacity to be honest. And yes, there are people out there who simply can’t be honest. I know a few myself, and let me tell you, as sad as it is, they are pretty much hopeless. They will continue to hurt others and hurt themselves without having any clue that they’re doing so. Watch out for these types. We’re not doormats. We must set strong boundaries, especially when we’re in recovery.

     So other than all that, there isn’t much to worry about… haha.

God, please heal and grow my conscience, that I may better know right from wrong…