Why The Steps Work

     The Steps give us enough things to do to always be working on ourselves. Between inventory, amends, prayer, meditation, heping others and working with addicts, we can almost constantly work on ourselves, if we choose. In fact, this is why the Steps work. But the trick is we have to push ourselves at every chance to take action. And more importantly, we have to push ourselves to take RIGHT action.

     That means we must learn to distinguish between actions that are useful and result in real growth, change and spiritual evolution, and useless actions that yield few to no results whatsoever. Relatively useless actions include meetings, individual or group therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, taking methadone or suboxone, taking psychotropics, having shock therapy, going to outpatient programs, engaging in role play and relapse prevention, taking herbs and homeopathy, relying on friends, family, coffee pots, sobriety chips, sober dances or that ridiculous book sold on cable TV, and last but not least, going to cushy and insanely over-priced treatment centers that serve tenderloin and swedish massages. Sorry, but useful actions are of a somewhat different nature… a spiritual nature. That’s because the solution to addiction is not man-made.
     Since addicts need to be told what to do, the Twelve Steps as they are laid out in the Big Book tell us what to do. They provide the tools we need to recover from our insanity, expel the spiritual poison that has brought us down, and establish an appropriate relationship with HIM. The solution is to use these tools to access the power of God, which if harnessed, is capable of anything. There is not one single addict on the face of the planet, regardless of how hopeless and toothless they may be, who God cannot make sane and free from addiction.

     Please don’t be fooled by any of the above mentioned half measures or false solutions. Other false (or in this case fake/scam) solutions include jokers such as Narconon, for a paltry fee of $15,000. For that you get to take a sauna and even get to keep their ‘life skills’ workbook, courtesy of some fabulously clever marketers and advertisers in L. Ron Hubbard and company. How do people fall for this stuff???

     Please also note that methadone and suboxone are simply forms of synthetic heroin, minus the acetic acid, or rather, the process of acetylation. All three drugs are morphine-based and thus derive from the same drug class. Methadone and suboxone are extremely dangerous. The notion of harm-reduction is a deceptive hoax that takes advantage of vulnerable addicts and parents in order to sell drugs. Drug sales are the incentive, not fixing addicts. In fact, you and I are being forced to pay for the distribution of methadone, as many of these ‘clinics’ are subsidized by tax dollars. The system is so broken, corrupt, idiotic and Godless, it hurts.

God, please help us distinguish between remedies and solutions…

Don’t Care How You Feel & Don’t Care What You Believe

Spirituality isn’t about trying to achieve constant rapture. It’s about facing reality and being human. 
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     Charlie, we really don’t care how you feel. Getting better has nothing to do with feelings. It’s all action…

     That is by far the most helpful thing anybody has ever said to me. Often when I start working with someone, they go on endless rants about how they feel – “Yeah but this, yeah but that…” It’s always that somehow their addiction makes sense because of how they feel. And the best is that I don’t understand. I don’t understand how they feel so screwed over by someone, so unheard, so misunderstood, so alone, so weak, so useless, so depressed, so not living up to their potential, so blah, blah, blah. Um, yeah, I get it. I whined too about how nobody understands. I justified using drugs and alcohol like an absolute pig because of the way I felt. “Well, you would be drinking and sniffing heroin too if you went through what I went through!”
     Um, no, sorry. Most people don’t do that. And yes, they even suffer, too.

     This is why therapy is such a joke. Addicts who I sponsor say, “Yeah bro, the Steps are great but I also want to dig into my stuff, my feelings. You need to know how I feel, man!” No, I don’t. And fine, call me a sociopath but I really don’t care. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) has it completely backwards. Addicts and alcoholics are so fucked in the head, we can’t think our way into right action. We just need to shut up and start acting our way into right thinking…

     I also don’t care what you believe. It really doesn’t matter compared to what you do. You can believe in the most noble, lofty principles in the world and still be a useless sack. You can believe in every good thing in the world and never truly evolve or grow spiritually. You can have your doctrine of choice memorized front to back and never really change at all. You can be one of those religious show-offs who throws passages around like no other and still be a deranged monster. What matters is what we do, not what we believe.

     Bottom line: Getting better has nothing to do with our feelings. In fact, our feelings quite often prevent us from getting better. The most important thing any addict wanting to get better can do is to drop his preoccupation with SELF. Stop focusing on how you feel because the truth is it doesn’t matter and nobody cares anyway. We need to walk through our feelings without broadcasting them on the nightly news. It is action, not feelings or beliefs, that will ultimately give us freedom.

God, please give me the willingness and the power to grow along spiritual lines…

Reasons Don’t Exist

     Just like triggers, reasons don’t exist either. The choice to use is a selfish one. Nothing makes us want to use. Regardless of what’s happened to us or how miserable we are, WE choose to use and therefore WE are the reason. Nothing else and nobody else is the reason. This is why therapy is useless for a drug addict. Finding reasons why we use just gives us excuses to keep using.


     Wanh… I’m sad, angry, depressed, hurt, abused, victimized, blah, blah, blah… so I HAVE to use. See, now you know why I do what I do. You would do the same exact thing! Wanh, wanh, wanh…  
     Drug addicts use because they are selfish and want to use. Go ahead, send them to a therapist to work out their emotional issues. Trust me, once they’ve got it all figured out, they are going to go get high. Addicts don’t need a reason, nor the resolution of a reason, to use. I’m telling you that even the happiest kid from a loving family will turn into an addict for no reason at all. He becomes an addict simply because he chooses to pick up and use over and over again until he or she is broken. It’s that simple.
     And it’s the same even if we have been hurt. Plenty of people have been hurt and don’t mutate into hopeless drug addicts. And once we become addicts, you are spinning your wheels trying to talk it out of us. We need to go from being insane (missing chip) to sane again (chip re-inserted), and the truth is that no amount of talking and no amount of medication can accomplish this. Addicts need nothing short of a psychic change via a spiritual experience. We need to replace our addiction with something as powerful as the addiction itself.
     Reasons allow us to sidestep responsibility, and believe me, if you give an addict a chance to avoid it, they will. Regardless of whether the reasons we discover and give to ourselves are true or not, drinking and using drugs is wrong if we have lost control. Instead, we should be told that we no longer have the right to use, no matter what happened to us, no matter how we feel or how we (with dramatic emphasis) ache so.
     I’m not saying therapists can’t help people, I’m just saying they can’t help drug addicts – the most manipulative, deceptive, dishonest, selfish and pathologically infantile group out there (besides borderlines and narcissists, or sociopaths). And we need to especially watch out for psychiatrists. Believe it or not, they actually have the balls to prescribe drug addicts more drugs. Great solution. What an absolute joke. See you in the next life after you overdose.
God, help me remember that if my problem is spiritual in nature, than so must be my solution… 

Medication vs Meditation

     Just like untreated alcoholics get touchy about the fact that they are white knuckling it and pointlessly going to meetings, so do depressive types get touchy about where their depression came from. When I say that depression is our own fault, I’m not saying it to hurt our already sensitive feelings. I say it purely as a matter of fact.

     Nobody gives us depression or makes us depressed. Fact. You don’t catch depression in the air. Fact. We are solely responsible for our depression. Fact. Why is it so offensive to simply understand ourselves and what it is that makes us suffer? Everything we feel and everything we become is the result of our own choices, actions, reactions and responses. Nothing else is to blame for the mental disorders we end up with, just like nothing and no one is to blame for us becoming alcoholics or drug addicts.

     People also get touchy about going to the doctor for meds. I realize that if something is difficult to conquer on your own, or with the help of something Greater, it is natural to want to give up and turn to drugs for an easier, softer way. I don’t judge or criticize anybody who wants to take medication for depression.

     I’ve suffered from major depression. I know how it feels, as I was brutalized by it for years. Depression crippled me and at times paralyzed me. But it can be endured without drugs. I understand how it seems impossible to function and do anything. But it is not impossible. It only feels that way. We may even believe this is the only reality. But it is not. It is not impossible to walk through our feelings. Our feelings do not have the power to stop us. We are not screwed forever without meds.

     When I suffered from depression, I knew deep in my heart that medication was not a solution. Sure I knew that it might work like a charm. But I also knew that when I stopped taking it, I was right back to where I started – insane and untreated. I was still the same, fundamentally damaged person inside. I hadn’t fixed any of the things that made me depressed. I hadn’t worked on myself a single bit. That I couldn’t live with. I couldn’t take meds knowing that I’d remain completely fucked in the head, heart, mind and spirit. I wanted to change. I wanted to resolve my pain, expel my demons, and live free.

    True freedom means we forgo the psychotropics. I wanted to change my bio-chemistry without one of corporate America’s science projects. And yes, it can be done. Yes, we can change and conquer our depression. Yes, we can even alter our bio-chemistry through action alone. Try meditation.

     The point is, sure these powerful, mood-altering, brain-damaging drugs might work, but we can also accomplish the same thing in a real and true way. We can learn how to pray and meditate. We can exorcise our demons by finding our fault in our resentments and fears. We can take inventory on a daily basis. We can be of service and give to others.

     Remember that depression is a purely selfish state of being, so getting outside of ourselves is the single best thing for us. And if these things don’t work right away, it’s because they’re not meant to. It’s not supposed to be easy. It takes courage and guts. God doesn’t help those who don’t do some hard work first. Try some work and keep up with it, and see what happens. Eventually, the depression will dissipate as you empower yourself and become stronger through right action. Eventually, you will even out and be able to control your emotions.

     The point of life isn’t to be in a constant state of rapture anyway. The best thing for us is not to get too low or too high. Why don’t doctors promote the medicine of reality? I know, I know… because it doesn’t pay. Plus, it’s also fun for them to use us like guinea pigs. Pretty soon they’ll have the entire country on medication. That should be interesting.

     I know people will get mad at me and say that I could be telling someone not to take meds who then might go commit suicide. Well, first of all, I’m not telling anybody to do anything. I’m telling you what I did and what I know for myself. Secondly, sure someone might commit suicide without meds, but they also might take a bunch of meds, then stop taking them, then have a psychotic break, and then walk into the office with a loaded assault rifle.

     Do we really want to be re-wiring our brains without any idea of the possible consequences? If you’re an adult, then fine, do what you want. But let’s leave the kids out of it. What do you say? Don’t tell me a 3 year-old has bipolar and ADHD, and should be medicated to the point of catatonia.

God, help me get better through Your power alone…

Don’t Care How You Feel

     Charlie, we really don’t care how you feel. Getting better has nothing to do with feelings. It’s all action…


     This is by far the most helpful thing anybody has ever said to me. Most of the time, when I start working with an addict, they go on endless rants about how they feel – Yeah but this, yeah but that… It’s always that somehow their addiction makes sense because of how they feel. And the best is that I don’t understand. I don’t understand that they feel so screwed over by someone, so unheard, so misunderstood, so alone, so weak, so useless, so disable, so depressed, so not living up to their potential, so blah, blah, blah. Um, yeah, I get it. I whined too about how nobody understands. I justified using drugs like a pig because of the way I felt.

     “Well, you would be drinking and sniffing heroin too if you knew what I was going through!”

     Bullshit.

     This is why therapy is such a joke. Addicts who I sponsor say, “Yeah the Steps are great but I also want to dig into my stuff, my feelings. You need to know how I feel, man.”

     No, I don’t.

     And fine, call me a sociopath but I really don’t care. I also don’t care what you believe. All I care about is what you do. What actions are you going to take? Bottom line: Getting better truly has nothing to do with our feelings. In fact, our feelings quite often prevent us from getting better. The most important thing any addict wanting to get better can do is to drop his preoccupation with self. Stop focusing on how you feel because the truth is it doesn’t matter and nobody cares anyway. We need to walk through our feelings without broadcasting them on the nightly news. 

    Getting better has nothing to do with feelings. It has everything to do with action. CBT has it completely backwards. Addicts and alcoholics are so fucked in the head, we can’t think our way into right action. We need to just shut up and start acting our way into right thinking…

See Also: Don’t Care What You Believe

God, give me the power, strength and willingness not to let my feelings stop me…