Monthly Archives: August 2013

Kid a) Hat On Sideways…

Posted on by under Resentment Inventory, Self-Seeking

…And pants hanging a foot below his ass, as he waddles across the street as slow as humanly possible.

     Before I try to relieve myself of the nausea, allow me to briefly elaborate on the anxiety our children now have to make sure they look “thug” enough. This is ‘prison fashion’, or ‘thug fashion’, where you have, for all intents and purposes, a child aspiring to look incarcerated. In prison they don’t give you a belt, so the prison johns or scrubs start drooping down below your ass. This is what our children want to look like. These are our future leaders – wannabe thugs who will inherit a broken, insolvent government. Yikes. Maybe it’s time I look into a second passport.

     See, this is why we need to write inventory. At any rate…

3rd Column
Affects my: Pride/Ambition

4th Column
*Self-Seeking: I am (want to be seen as) cool… the real cool.

*Selfish: I want Kid to know what an idiot he is to satisfy my pride and ego.

*Dishonest: (The truth is) Kid reminds me of how self-seeking I used to be and still am, a part of myself that I loathe.

*Fear: I’m afraid to love Kid, to love others.

My Creator, I am now willing that You should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that You now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do Your bidding. Amen.
-Alcoholics Anonymous, P.76

Beware The Establishment

Posted on by under Establishment, God, Remedies vs Solutions

     A tough illness calls for tough love…  

     Earlier this year I spoke at a support group for parents, and as usual, I was tough when it came to the question of drug treatments. First of all, listen to that: Drug therapy for drug addicts. One more time: Drugs for addicts. I’m not sure my message was that well received, as, not surprisingly, I haven’t heard from them since. Don’t get me wrong, they were gracious and many thanked me personally for sharing my experience, but meds are always a touchy subject.

     Dear parents, I’m trying to help you. I’m trying to spare you from the false and harmful ‘solutions’ peddled by the Establishment. They manipulate you emotionally, psychologically and financially in much the same way your addicts do. But regardless of the various reactions, I’ll keep trying to educate addicts and parents alike. I’ll keep trying to provide some hope and happiness where some prefer to remain in the comfort zone of pain and darkness.

     The Establishment will never get it. They will never understand the nature of addiction and thus the natural solution. There are plenty of remedies out there but not much in the way of solutions.

     Remedies failed me. A spiritual solution did not.

     Why?

     Because someone who is powerless must be restored to power and nothing earthly can do that. And it’s only through this restoration of power the he or she may regain their willpower, their ability to choose not to drink or use drugs.

     I’ve never met a true addict or alcoholic out there who can remove their desire to drink without having a spiritual transformation, without having a profound psychic change, without the help of God, and without maintaining that relationship with God by adopting and living by spiritual principles.

    If anyone can prove me wrong about that, please, by all means, go ahead. If Narcanon atheism works, if Rational Recovery hubris works, if Smart Recovery CBT nonsense works, if McLean’s psychotropic cocktails work, if Methadone or Suboxone zombieism works, if sweat lodge orgies work, if stealing from taxpayers for unearned recovery high school diplomas and image-infirm principals work, if clueless doctors, social workers and addiction specialists work, if whatever you heard from the brainwashed media works, or if that over-priced, framed degree on your wall works… just let me know, k?

God, help the addicts and alcoholics and their families who still suffer find their way to You… 

Brats & Self-Worship

Posted on by under Brats, Self-Importance, Self-Worship

     I went to boarding school. What a perfect place to cultivate my addiction – trapped inside an exclusive campus of affluent brats destined for four long years of self-worship. Nothing wreaks of self-importance quite like boarding school. And though I much prefer the company of someone who is well-educated and well-mannered, I just can’t help becoming slightly nauseous when a pair of Nantucket red khakis come into view.

     I suppose the point of that is how my recovery has had to revolve entirely around the (attempted) removal of self-worship and self-importance. We are programmed to consider ourselves and our identities so very important. Throughout school we are awarded with prizes, medals and trophies of honor and achievement. So maybe that’s good for normal people, but it’s just about the worst thing for addicts. Addicts don’t need the hopium of self-importance blown up their asses. We need just the opposite.

     Humility.

     Helping addicts involves humbling the shit out of them. Then we lay down at their feet the spiritual tools to build themselves back up. It’s pretty simple. Not easy, but simple. Remember that we are so full of self, so full of pride, so full of shit, that any stroking of our egos can actually be quite lethal. Don’t stroke addicts. Don’t give them the time of day. Don’t listen to them blab on for hours about their problems and their feelings, allowing them to feel like what they do is somehow justified. We are not victims. We are cowards.

     I don’t care who you are, once you no longer have control over your drinking or drug use, or anything for that matter, that is the moment that you no longer have the right to continue doing it. There is such a thing as right and wrong. How do I know? Because I have experienced real, actual consequences of both right and wrong action.

     My advice: Don’t be a coward. Don’t be that person that everyone finds repulsive, because trust me, if you’re an addict or an alcoholic, people most certainly find you repulsive. We need to ask God for the strength and the power to grow up and to start acting like adults… just like our elected officials, or should I say, our elected clowns. There’s no chance in hell any of them will pray humbly, act like adults, do the right thing and all resign, but we addicts certainly can. And by doing so, we can nourish and preserve our future.

     Hey, someone needs to.

God, please rid me of the poison of self-importance and self-worship, that I may serve You and serve others…