POA Questions

 September 24, 2014

     Please feel free to request a blog entry on any particular subject or question. That being said, I don’t tell people what to do specifically, nor do I want to. It is much better to figure out the answers on your own (See Don’t Listen To Me). What I do here, despite some periodic and impulsive accusations to the contrary, is to share what I have learned through my own experience and you can take from that what you will.

Should addicts with mental issues not take anything?

     Active addicts are going to present with any number of mental disorders, including but not limited to depression, hypomania, psychosis, anxiety, dissociative disorder, narcissism, ADD, PTSD and you name it, all of which may be entirely drug-induced. It is therefore crucial to achieve sobriety unmedicated and remain unmedicated until the fizz settles, if you will. Once sober, we must also embark on a rigorous program of action to determine what leftover mental skews, if any, may be dissolved without drugs.

     If an addict rolls into treatment, talks to a doctor, gets slapped with a few disorders and put on a pile of powerful psychotropics right away, we will never know how much of his mental illness was purely drug-induced and how much of it was residing separately from the addiction, if any. You may end up drugging the living shit out of someone who doesn’t even need to medicated. Why make a zombie out a perfectly capable, talented and charismatic human being? We must let things settle and work rigorously on ourselves for a good a year or so in order to accurately determine if we truly cannot function without meds, and even then, the addict may be fooling himself and others about how dysfunctional they really are.

     How can we clearly see what’s inside if we do anything short of this?

Aren’t drugs that reduce cravings good for addicts who really want to work hard but just need a little help? 

     First of all, no addict taking Naltrexone etc really wants to work hard or go to any lengths. Addicts who half-ass any portion of their recovery will possess weak recovery or fail altogether. Addicts who really want to change and give 100% to their growth don’t need any help or hand-holding. Furthermore, any recovery that is assisted will have cracks in it. Think building a foundation. If someone lends you a few cinder blocks and then takes them away once you are done building, your foundation will have some rather large holes in it. The best chance to lay a solid foundation is to build it ourselves, and this is true for any of us, even the somewhat unimpressive and half-witted addicts out there.

     Second, there is no such thing as a drug that can effectively reduce cravings, or obsessions rather, as cravings refer to the physical process of withdrawal. Once we are cleaned out, there are no cravings. At that point it is purely mental, and nothing can prevent the mental obsession from occurring. The mental obsession is a deep-seated malady, a sort of random and sudden lunacy, the result of a profound spiritual illness. An illness of this sort can only be removed through the effort of the being in which it inhabits. No drug can do the kind of work that we can only do for ourselves, with God.

     There is no reducing obsessions via pharmaceutical intervention, and drugs that claim to do this are just placebos. It isn’t possible. It has always amazed me the degree of ignorance among the medical community when it comes to addiction. But much more important than getting too deep into that is the fact that any drug we take to aid our recovery will negate that portion of our recovery. In other words, we will fail to accomplish for ourselves what the drug has accomplished for us. Drugs of this nature in fact rob us of our recovery.

      Finally, it is pointless to simultaneously take some sort of ‘crave-reduction’ drug and reach out to God at the same time, as we cannot really expect God to fix us if we are also copping out with an easier, softer way. We cannot scam our way into becoming recovered, and isn’t that what you want for your child, to be fully recovered and free, as opposed to simply ‘in recovery’, struggling, and holding on by a thread? It doesn’t work that way. Half measures avail us nothing, and taking naltrexone etc. is a half measure. God doesn’t help bullshitters and addicts looking for an easy way out, and I bet you that any one of us on all sorts of science projects to make us feel more comfortable are still lying through what’s left of our teeth and filled to the brim with BS.

What is the biggest mistake a POA can make? 

     There is actually no such thing as a “POA mistake” because addicts are 100% responsible for everything they do and everything that happens to them as a result of what they do. As well, no parent, regardless of how loving and wonderful and saintly they may be, can prevent a child from becoming an addict or fix them once they get there. That is crucial to understand. It is the truth.

     But I guess if I had to pick something, I’d say the biggest mistake a POA can make is buying our nonsense, as NOTHING we say can be believed. As well, I would be wary of following the ridiculous advice of sources such as Beyond Addiction and what have you. Kindness and science hurt as opposed to help addicts. Showering an active addict with love is totally clueless and will simply help facilitate our death. Treat us instead like you would treat any addict who is robbing you blind. Look, it’d be great to have a normal relationship with us, but you can’t… until perhaps we find God and become free.

     OMG, why? How could you say such a thing? 

     Because we are pathological, self-centered liars (even when we act vulnerable and open up about our feelings and turn into sad little weeping puppies) and our #1 and only priority in life is getting high, so we will use you and manipulate your love and your compassion to the ends of the earth. If you let us, we will suck you dry in every possible way until you are nothing but a rotting carcass. So tell us that you love us but do not under any circumstance be a party to our suicide mission. Real love is action, so think about what the true motive and the effect of your actions. See How Not To Help Addicts.

    I also wouldn’t follow the advice of 99% of mainstream addiction modalities or professionals, as treatment in America is a farce and really just business as usual. Academics and doctors seem to know next to nothing about addiction and what is really necessary to treat it, or rather, to free us from it.

     If you listen to snake oil salesmen like that joker on CNN (Controlled News Network) that sells his Alcoholism & Addiction Cure book and a $92,000 stay in his Malibu hot tub, your child will most likely overdose at some point after relapsing repeatedly. His ‘four points’ have been lifted from a Psych. 101 textbook and are absent a shred of originality or authenticity. To claim that a few very common and provincial strategies that have consistently failed drug addicts are a new and novel cure for drug addiction is definitely some sell-side bullshit. Plus, if this joker knew anything about addiction, he would know that nobody should ever be claiming to cure addiction because addiction cannot be cured physically, and mentally it cannot be cured via self-knowledge and man-made remedies.

     You shouldn’t be surprised, though, that this guy would be pumping this stuff on CNN, given that CNN is a scripted, fraudulent news station. They have actually staged news events in an effort to spread propaganda.

Get Used to Less Dopamine

      I really don’t get it. Instead of rationalizing addiction as a naturally-occurring lack of endogenous opioids and then justifying various forms of artificial dopamine as treatment because we’re just poor, innocent victims of a blameless disease, here’s a novel idea:

     Get used to less dopamine.

     Why are drugs addicts and alcoholics somehow entitled to be treated with more euphoria, as if it isn’t our selfish preoccupation with physical and mental climax that got us into trouble to begin with?

     I don’t get it.

     Why not simply get used to a more human amount of dopamine?

     I’ve read stuff by some these poor parents on other blogs who discuss the latest propaganda spewed by psychiatrists and behavioral neuroscientists. They believe their sons and daughter are innocent “victims” of an organic lack of endogenous opioids and the poor little things are shooting dope in a desperate attempt to address a “legitimate” mental health issue?


     Sorry, but that is insane. This kind of thinking is removed from reality.

     Most people don’t actually believe that, do they? So wait, let me get this straight, we addicts legitimately need opiates because we are suffering from a lack of opiates, which causes us to suffer mentally. Come on. Please. First of all, I think I know what my problem is. Second, I definitely know that I don’t need more opiates, but hey, you can tell yourself anything you want in an effort to justify our immature and deranged behavior.

    First of all, there is no rationale or justification for anybody to use heroin, regardless of how fucked you brain might be. Using hard drugs is wrong. And if you have lost control, using any mood-altering substance is wrong.

     Second, this is the very last message on earth you want to send addicts and alcoholics: that your body is wired to need drugs and therefore it’s okay to use.

     That is insane.

     Furthermore, it prevents real recovery. Navigating life and the world with artificial amounts of dopamine is not real life. Dealing with life on life’s terms is real life and therefore real recovery.

     Why are we entitled to have maximum comfort simply because we mutated ourselves into drug addicts? Why not simply deal with being human being? Wouldn’t getting used to less dopamine bring about a more fundamental and lasting recovery? Where did this degenerate notion come from, that addicts naturally need more dopamine and therefore we should give it to them?

     They don’t need more dopamine, they WANT more dopamine.

     We want more dopamine because when you use drugs, you are literally flooding your CNS with pleasure and relief (i.e. euphoria). Naturally, the removal of such ridiculous amounts of artificial relief will create some whining and moaning, but trust me, this is good for addicts. It’s okay to suffer a little bit. It’s good for us, and in fact, it is the trick to recovery – to be okay with normal amounts of dopamine, i.e. to simply feel human and continue to do what we need to do, to walk through discomfort.

     The key to maladies such as addiction and depression is simple:

     Don’t let your feelings stop you.

     Don’t let your feelings stop you from doing what you need to do, from doing the right thing. Don’t worry, feelings are not gonna kill you. In fact, the more you move through them, the more action you take and the busier you get, the more the depression will dissipate. We get stuck when we stop, cower and retreat into our comfort zones.

     As far as drug and alcohol addiction go, the more you reach out and step outside of yourself, the more you will come to naturally repel drugs and alcohol. You will be lifted up spiritually, in the real way, and will seek real strength and real peace as opposed to the phony, manufactured comfort of drugs and alcohol.

    So sorry, but we can’t let the current thinking about addiction devolve into absolute nonsense. Nobody just wakes up one day and they are suddenly a fully blown addict with no control over their drinking or using. That is ridiculous. You have to use and drink quite a bit in order to to officially break your body and develop the physical allergy. The process of losing choice is indeed very much a choice. That is the truth, so please, see addiction as it is, not as you want it to be. 

Don’t Bother Working Hard Because Success Is Just "Luck"

      At a recent commencement ceremony, one of our elected puppets asserted arrogantly that success was by no means voluntary, but simply a function of “luck,” which is no doubt code for, well, I’m sure you can deduce the various implications on your own.

     So wait, success (in life, as in recovery) has nothing to do with, say…
     Hard work?

     Strength of character?

     The courage to walk through fear and take a risk?

     The courage to make tough decisions?

     Persevering when leveled by disappointment or failure?

     Walking through exhaustion and discomfort?

     Fighting relentlessly until a goal is achieved? 

     The wisdom to change course when necessary?

     The willingness to be wrong?

     The ability to influence and motivate others?
     Not avoiding confrontation simply to preserve one’s comfort zone?

     Remaining positive in the face of ridicule, criticism and envy?

     Remaining educable?










     Belief in oneself?

     Nothing to do with any of the above???


     And I suppose since it is only “luck” that anyone would have achieved some success, they are certainly not entitled to keep it.


     Clever strategy to push a very self-serving agenda.

P.S. Go Britain! Today was a win for the people of Britain and a loss for the anti-democratic, socialist EU super state. George Soros and his minions must be shitting in their pants. Today was a win for freedom and independence and a loss for the globalist elitists and the bankers who wanted to maintain power by controlling the people through population management, economic slavery and collectivism via a loss of sovereignty (and therefore, spirit). I guess the ‘great unwashed’ are not that stupid after all;)

     Martin Armstrong summarized the mistake of the braindead EU politicians by stating that “Brussels simply went too far. They crossed the line moving from an economic union to a political subordination of Europe. Now five more countries want to hold referendums to exit the EU – France, the Netherlands, Italy, Austria, Finland and Hungary all could leave.” Even economically, you can’t hold one struggling country hostage to bail out another struggling country for absolutely nothing in return. That is what the mafia does. Plus, there is no common bond market, so the Euro was doomed to fail from its inception.

“European Superstate to be Unveiled” 

P.S.S. Anyone notice that John Ashe (former president of the UN General Assembly) just coincidentally died “accidentally” right before testifying against you-know-who? Amazing. What is that, like, the 200th guy?

The One Requirement to Recover… Besides Hard Work.

July 4, 2014

      It’s really simple: You have to want God (spiritual growth) more than drugs.

     Obviously it’s hard to want anything other than more dope when we roll into or out of detox, wallowing in depression and angst. That’s why there are few options for the hopeless drunks and addicts out there other than to give every last ounce of spirit and courage we have within us to the Twelve Steps as they are laid out in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, thus inducing a psychic change that will shower us with immediate and profound relief.

     When you feel this kind of relief and freedom within, it is then that you will want God more than drugs. And so long as this is the case, you will remain recovered and free from any desire to drink or use. Thoughts to drink or use will have no power over you. Thoughts to self-destruct and to sabotage everything will have no power over you. You will be able to sit down with no distractions whatsoever and feel completely okay. Your mind no longer races. You are not ridden by guilt and shame. You are no longer a tortured soul. Trust me, it’s awesome.

     And yes, this is all true and it happens. Everyday.

     I lay down to sleep at night and fall sound asleep in minutes, if not seconds. There are no more nightmares, no more psychic pain, no more unfinished business. This is what recovered is. Recovered means we are free. Relapse is out of the question because the only thing recovered people care about is getting closer to God, helping others, being honest, being better, and growing spiritually (not that I do any of that well, but this is the essential distinction between an addict lit up with the fire of God vs the mere physically sober nightmare still ripping the hearts out of those who love him, or her).

     I wish with all my heart that every addict in the world meets a recovered person and sees what I saw many years ago – a person who was glowing, grounded, sane, free, calm, wise and at peace. You can just look into the eyes of a recovered person and know they are truly okay, that any obsession to drink or use or self-destruct is just gone. I wish suffering addicts will see this and decide that they must have this thing, this peace. Finally, I wish addicts will then decide to put God first before anything, because the very instant that happens, addiction will never be a problem again, so long as we live.

Methadone & Powerlessness

April 27, 2014

Let me help out a bit.

     Just read another blogger who is a staunch supporter of Methadone, as well as Smart Recovery (CBT and no God), which is perhaps useful if you’re not an actual alcoholic or drug addict, but if you are, then call me from detox when you relapse.
     As well, it’s pretty strange to purposely keep the presence of a Higher Power out of the program given that an attitude of humility is so vital for alcoholics and addicts to achieve long-term sobriety and inner peace. Generally speaking, the arrogance (not to mention the irony) of ‘I can do anything, I’m not powerless when it comes to chronic relapse and drug addiction is, needless to say, quite dangerous. Um, yeah, if you could do anything on your own power than you probably wouldn’t be a full blown drug addict now, would you?
     Of course, the notion of powerlessness in recovery is widely misunderstood. Physically, we will always be powerless. Mentally, however, powerlessness is a specific and temporary state that occurs when our willpower has weakened to the point where it is no longer sufficient to keep us sober. Powerlessness is not a way to beat ourselves up and consider ourselves to be fundamentally damaged. It simply refers to our ability to stay sober.
     We humans can become temporarily powerless over any number of things. This is just a way to understand our addiction and have the proper attitude towards drugs and alcohol. Thinking I had power over drugs and alcohol was completely delusional, and it is precisely what kept me ill, relapsing, and absent from my family for 15 years. I liken it to a form of arrogance. Sure I could do tons of other things just fine, but when it came to drugs and alcohol, sorry, but no power. If you think you have power after you’ve just been admitted to detox for heroin addiction, then I can’t help you. Again, you wouldn’t be sitting there in detox if you had power now, would you?
     But back to Methadone. The blogger refers to addicts on Methadone as being in “Methadone recovery”. Recovery? Ah, no. But fine, so you recovered (not really) from the heroin addiction but, um, now you have to recover from the Methadone addiction. More importantly, you are still powerless, and thus no better at all. Truth be told, all you are doing is coiling a spring that is sooner or later going to explode.
     Methadone is a state-sponsored, synthetic opiate drug. Sorry, but there’s no getting around that fact. How does that have anything to do with freedom, life and recovery? Perhaps I’m not on the street buying heroin but I’m still chained to addiction, and by the way, how’s my spiritual condition? How’s my mental and psychological condition? And how is my body doing? Not too well, I imagine.
     Here’s a little excerpt from my story about my very own “Methadone recovery”, since negative personal stories regarding Methadone apparently don’t count.

     “In an effort to stop sniffing dope, I bought Methadone and was addicted immediately. Methadone, commonly and falsely thought of as an opiate blocker, is actually chemically considered to be a synthetic opioid, thus acting on the same receptors as morphine-based opiates like heroin or OxyContin. Methadone “maintenance” as a form of treatment is used in many state and federally funded programs to treat heroin addicts. It is highly addictive, causing serious and extended side effects including nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, fever, chills, tremors, severe joint pain, tachycardia, and psychological agony/cognitive effects including suicidal ideation, severe depression, paranoia, delusion and panic disorder, just to name a few. I loved it. I ate one hundred and sixty to two hundred milligrams (a lot) everyday and turned back into a rail. No one likes to be around that kind of weight loss.
     The wedding was a month away, but my golden rule in life was not to let anyone see me weak, insecure, or vulnerable. Ever. So I detoxed myself off the Methadone at home in bed. Some sound advice to any addicts out there: Don’t ever do Methadone. Worst thing I’ve ever felt.
     Having invested so much already, Future Wife had little choice but to get behind me. We bought ten, forty-milligram Methadone wafers and a bunch of Xanax from a friend who came to the rescue. We broke up the Methadone chips to wean me down by five milligrams a day. Xanax was for easing the withdrawals and getting some limited sleep.
     As the Methadone begins to run out, all there is for relief is the Xanax… then all of those are gone. First, all of my energy is sucked out of me. I’m beyond lethargic. My muscles feel like they weigh a thousand pounds. Moving anywhere becomes a struggle. Indescribable stomach pain begins, accompanied by sweats and chills. It’s the middle of the summer, temperature in the mid-nineties, and I’m freezing. I go around in pants and four shirts on, including a flannel jacket. My clothes hang off me, and if it isn’t clear that I’m a pathetic drug addict, I can easily be mistaken for a male anorexic.
     The pain gets worse and worse and is loyally followed by psychological torture. I feel like I’m going crazy. I become so frustrated, I pull my hair out, punch myself in the head, and bang my head against the wall. I hate myself.
     No appetite either. I mean zero fucking appetite. The thought of food makes me sicker and more depressed, forget about the constant reminder that I’ve been reduced to a Methadone-sick waif, writhing in bed. I try drinking a protein shake one morning. As soon as I gulp the shake, I throw it back up into the glass. I try to swallow it again and throw it up again. I manage to keep some down each time, so I repeat this swallowing and puking process over and over until the chocolate-flavored protein shake is gone. Protein shakes have to do it for a few days because I just can’t swallow food…” -The Privileged Addict, pp. 133-35.