Hand of God

     Dear All, I said I’d post this several months ago, and then kids and work continued to empty me out so far as having any creative energy leftover. But no excuses. I’m back and will make it a priority to write as much as possible… needless to say, there is much to discuss. God bless you all. 


The Privileged Addict, Copyright 2012

     It was the middle of a moonlit night in the chapel up North. My body told me when I was finished meditating. I sat down for a few minutes. A feeling of certainty calmed me. I was ready. I knelt down on my knees and opened up the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous to page 76 and read the 7th Step prayer out loud.
     “My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.” Alcoholics Anonymous, 76.
     As I finished reading the prayer, an unexplainable miracle occurred. The instant I was done, something rushed through my body. Something wonderful. I laughed and cried simultaneously. It was strange. Some force immediately took over my body and mind, controlling me for some time. Then a volcanic feeling of relief and rapture pervaded my entire being. I remember thinking, Holy shit. It worked! I felt it in every cell.

     I stood up and walked into the main room. I felt as light as air. From somewhere up in the Universe came a rush of energy. At first it was a surge… then a steady flow of God rushed through me, entering through the top of my head and flowing down through my feet and back out. I was emptied out. My mind was clear for the first time in my entire life. Totally, utterly, empty.
     Then a second miracle occurred. I suddenly had full control over my mind. I could choose to think or not to think, but I had the choice. It was pure and absolute freedom. A telephone line had been activated between me and God, and in that moment I knew with certainty that I could tap into this Universal Power at any time. I realized that I had just tapped into Power.
     Then a third miracle occurred as I experienced a total absence of fear. All fear just gone. It was unbelievable. Deep inside, I knew I would be okay from that point on. There was nothing fear could ever again stop me from doing. There was no problem anymore. Something had shifted. For the next several days, I entered a prolonged state of calm and inner peace. I was reborn. Since those moments up North, I’ve felt exponentially better than I ever did high on drugs or alcohol.
     What occurred that night was an intense spiritual experience. The mental obsession was lifted from my broken mind. Before, my shoulders were hunched over from the heavy load of resentments and grief that I carried around with me. But suddenly, I stood straight up, shoulders cocked backed, eyes and face aglow. A limitless and mind-blowing power brushed me for a brief moment. And so I was restored to sanity.
     I was touched by the hand of God that night and it was no hallucination. No human thing is responsible for what I felt, for what flowed into me, for what changed me. I refuse to take any responsibility for what happened and I am so grateful and humbled by that. From then on, I have been willing to do anything it takes to get better, to stay better, and to grow spiritually.
     I walked out of the chapel and entered what felt like a different realm. Fog hovered over the grass, deflecting beams of light in every direction. Everything was vibrant. The earth was breathing. I was alive. Away I went to fall sound asleep.
     In the morning, something was fundamentally different. I needed less and didn’t think about myself as much. I wanted to help others and be useful. I wanted other people to have what I had.
     People noticed what happened. No one could ignore it. The change in the way I looked and in my mental state and attitude could not be mistaken. And it happened to all of us who sought out a spiritual experience. We were taken over and glowing from Spirit within. Truly amazing.” – The Privileged Addict, pp.139-141

Thank you all for reading. I am so grateful. May God bless you and comfort you…

Cult of Potheads & CBD Nutbags = Delusional Narcissists

     Pot is a religion, a secular one of course, as opposed to a spiritual one, as there is nothing spiritual about ripping bong hits, eating pot gummy worms or claiming CBD oil makes you a more “spiritual” person or a better parent. When someone says they’re “really spiritual,” um, well, just run the other way. So if you are a parent or a spouse of a pothead, don’t kid yourself. You have an addicted child on your hands, and trust me, he or she will be just as selfish and annoying as any other drug addict.

     Pot is, of course, like any other drug or mood-altering substance. The action of pot works on the reward system of the brain just as alcohol, heroin or cocaine. The negative effects of pot use are extensive and far-reaching. In fact, even liberal gulags such as Harvard University screwed their heads on straight momentarily to publish studies as to the deleterious effects of pot use on the brain, such as (Article on Harvard Study). Instead of repeating myself, read the “Pot” post for some of the more acute effects to the brains of potheads.

     None of this is to even speak of the rather dire emotional and spiritual damage we are doing. How comical (well, sad really) it is when a pothead says something as asinine as, “pot makes me spiritual.” Smoking pot is the opposite of spiritual, as the spiritual life is little more than facing reality and living a pure human life, free of drugs, alcohol and distraction. It is a life based upon the principle of personal responsibility. It is a sober life based on honesty, courage, strength, service, faith, right action and other-centeredness. It is a willingness and a maturity not to avoid human pain, feelings, suffering and all of their attendant challenges. By smoking pot, we literally eliminate spirituality. It is therefore impossible to live a spiritual life using pot or any other drug.

     But the above assertion isn’t perhaps as asinine or stomach turning as this one from some popular mommy blog: “Using CBD oil makes me a better mom.” Yup, nope, not kidding. Many such delusional comments and notions are now commonplace among the CBD pumpers. First of all, wtf. You should see the selfie that accompanies the article this particular comment was pulled from on the mommy site – the woman looks completely insane. But yes, hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people actually believe this and are using some form of Cannabis to parent their children. And just like any other drug-addicted, alcoholic, or insane parent out there, this is a form of child abuse. This quote was followed by something like, “I wake up and don’t naturally feel like playing with my child, but after a hit of CBD oil, I can play with her!” Impressive. There is nothing “natural” about a phony, drug-induced desire to play with your child.

     Here’s another gem. “Ya know when you just wake up and feel blah? Like you’re just not feelin’ it? Like, ya know, like, a little tired, maybe a little down or anxious or whatever???” Um, yeah, you mean when you wake up feeling like a human? Yes I’m aware of this feeling because this is what it feels like to be a human being. You are no different from anybody else, except that others are not trying to rationalize using pot as a child tries to rationalize eating Skittles before bed, arguing that it will help them calm down and prime their brain chemistry for sleep.

     Also, please don’t tell me that cbd is not psychoactive and therefore does not get you high, blah, blah, blah… Trust me, anyone who pumps cbd oil like it was sent from Heaven is also a pot smoker who loves pot. Second, CBD, like THC, still acts on multiple neurotransmitters (Cb1 and Cb2) and acts as a sertonin 5-HT receptor partial agonist. In other words, it activates serotonin, or if competing with a 5-HT agonist, serotonin output is reduced. Therefore, it is essentially a drug that can either make you less depressed or more depressed, that is, if you’re ingesting a salad bar of other psychotropics, which is probable amongst this crowd. Other side effects of CBD include sleepiness, decreased appetite, diarrhea, fatigue, malaise, weakness, sleep disturbances and others (See wikipedia summary for general cbd pharmacology etc).

      The drug action of THC is indeed psychoactive and directly works on the dopaminergic system of the brain. Any psychoactive substance that increases the release of dopamine will cause withdrawal in its absence, as the brain, needless to say, adjusts to any increase and achieves an altered homeostasis, if you will. Once removed, guess what happens? Does the pothead just relax back into normalcy? Nope. They crash, and now organic levels of dopamine feel borderline suicidal. The pothead without pot experiences restlessness, irritability and boredom as does any alcoholic or drug addict, let alone anger, depression, anxiety, fear, hopelessness, melancholy, dread, slothfulness, spiritual angst, emptiness, destitution, emotional instability, dissatisfaction and even rage. Potheads in withdrawal often become enraged and verbally abusive.

     So there is no “I’m completely sober, I just rip bong hits of organic indoor and eat pot gummy worms yo.” Ridiculous. Look, you can tell yourself that your child or your spouse is fine because he or she just smokes pot now. You can tell yourself that you are fine because your clueless doctor said it was okay. You can tell yourself anything you want in order to rationalize, justify and validate your pot use. Despite what cultish beliefs you have fallen prey to, it doesn’t change the truth: pot is a drug. Pot causes brain damage. Pot damages me emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Pot makes me lazy and destroys my potential.

     One reason for this is that potheads, being delusional, believe that they are doing well in life, blind to how much more they could achieve were they sober. The truth is that pot use breeds all manner of character flaws, including indifference, carelessness, thoughtlessness, pathological self-absorption, dishonesty, lack of self-awareness and an inability to be truly present, to truly love, and yes, to truly parent. Smoking pot breeds immaturity, purposelessness and uselessness. And please spare me the dual-diagnosis BS. It is not the depression or chemical imbalance that is causing the lack of recovery; it is the lack of recovery that is causing the chemical imbalance.

     But go ahead, it’s legal now so no worries. Do whatever you want. That is the lovely thing about freedom (which is God-given btw, not government-given). You can do, think and say stupid shit. Cherish it before the herd of angry, intolerant, progressive tyrants rip it from our very souls. I believe in freedom and I believe others have a God-given right to be as dumb as a brick. Fortunately, that doesn’t change the fact that using alcohol, drugs, and yup, weed bro, is wrong.

     Finally, none of this particular analysis encompasses the very infantile and self-absorbed worldview of your average pothead, similar to the typical millenial. I’m sure I don’t need to state the obvious that these people are total narcissists and are perhaps the least “spiritual” people on Earth.