Families don’t need to suffer…
Families and spouses can become spiritually ill and go somewhat insane themselves, just as the addict. Let’s face it, if you live with a crazy person, chances are you will go sort of crazy yourself. An addict’s negative energy permeates all who surround him. If and when the addict gets better, spouses and family members are suddenly slammed with the pile of crap inside of them that had built up and was perhaps ignored by necessity. They begin to suffer greatly and wonder why.
Why do I feel more awful now that he or she has gotten well? I should feel better now… but I feel worse!
Wait a minute, I’m not sure I even like this person! Sure they were an asshole when actively drinking, but it was that old personality I fell in love with, not this new one.
I strongly suggest that any spouses, parents, close relatives or friends who are suffering, even long after the addict has recovered, go out and embark on a rigorous Twelve Step process. It may save them as well. To note, they can follow the exact same Big Book Twelve Step directions that we do. All they need is to find a recovered sponsor or an al-anon sponsor who has taken these Steps and recovered.
Ultimately, the only thing you can really do to change anything is to let go of the addict and go heal yourself.
God, please give our families and spouses the willingness and power to heal and grow…