Tag Archives: Identity

Self Will For God’s Will

Posted on by under http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post

     “Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. ‘How can I best serve Thee – Thy will (not mine) be done.’ These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is proper use of the will.” -Alcoholics Anonymous, p.85

     Translation: I can use my self will until I’m blue in the face… to do God’s will.

     Why is it so difficult to understand the difference between self will and God’s will? Every time people discuss some horrible tragedy, someone always asks, “Golly gee, why did God let this horrible tragedy happen!?” Acts of horror have nothing to do with God’s will. Acts of abuse and violence are purely an act of self will, not God’s will. God’s will involves listening to and following our conscience. And yes, we do have one, except for the sociopaths and psychopaths. It is that visceral feeling we experience when we see, hear, or do something wrong and harmful. Where does it come from? Are we taught it? If so, then why does it occur on a cellular level?

     If we are relatively normal anatomically and cognitively, we should have been born with an innate sense of justice, although some are probably just born evil. But our problem is our individual actions, choices and exposure to cultural decay after birth. The French existentialist philosopher, Jean Paul Sartre, stated perfectly that our “existence precedes our essence” – we make ourselves who we are. Once we act wrong over and over again, once we get used to lying, stealing, manipulating and hurting self and others, our conscience takes a beating. To add insult to injury, we live in one very sick culture and de facto banana republic, but I won’t get into that right now or I’m sure to offend someone.

     Self will is any word, thought or action that is negative and causes harm or damage to self or others. God’s will is any word, thought or action that is positive and causes love, wellness, growth or productivity to self or others. So it’s not that we can’t ever use our self will… it just depends how we use it. We can use our self will all we freaking want to in order to do God’s will.

Also see: Self Will vs God’s Will

God, help me use my will to do Your will…

Jean Paul Sartre
Banana Republic

All The Same

Posted on by under 11th Step, Drama, Human Arrogance, Identity

     I always remember that we addicts and alcoholics are all the same, but always forget that we humans are all the same. Why can I humble myself regarding my addiction yet remain so arrogant when it comes to the rest of the world? Why do I still think I know something? Why do I still think that some others know nothing? The truth is that nobody is better or worse than anybody else.

     But beyond that, why do I still think that our constructed human identities, our superficial problems and our meaningless opinions mean so much? Is it just me, or do we get sucked into a narrow little tunnel about our lives and the world?

     I still manage to forget everything I’ve learned on a daily basis. It’s like I suddenly go mad and start taking everything so seriously. The state of the world, the economy, what people know or don’t know, what people believe or don’t believe, who has power and who doesn’t, or better yet… the petty little ridiculous dramas that I pathetically lapse into with relatives or friends. As if it matters all so very much. Actually, it only matters to us if it matters to us… get it?

     The truth is that when I allow myself to get sucked into the nonsense of the world, or of identity, or of human drama… I have lost not only my mind but I have also lost my soul. I have lost the peace within, as I thrust myself out of the present (the only thing that exists) and into the past or the future.

     Lao Tzu said it himself, If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.

God, teach me how to stay out of my head…