Tag Archives: Peace

Letting Go

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     Letting go is when I no longer care what others think of me. I no longer need the approval of my family. I no longer need approval of who I am, who I’m with, what I believe, what I’m thinking, what I do for work, etc. And I no longer need to preach to others because I am okay with myself.

     When we need to prove or preach something to others, the sad and rather unattractive truth is that we don’t entirely believe it ourselves. But if we are okay, inside and out, we don’t need to prove anything to anyone. We don’t need approval, validation, credit or recognition. 
     The day I let go was the day I stopped caring what other people thought about my life and what I was doing. It was the day I stopped needing for my friends in recovery to see all the stuff I was doing to help others. I didn’t need to show off, or need a pat on the back, or need smoke to be blown up my ass. And this is true peace – when you no longer need something outside of yourself to be okay.

    Letting go is also forgiveness. That’s why the process of writing a thorough inventory can truly save an addict’s life. Clearly understanding our resentments has the power to fix an addict for good. If we can successfully dissolve our anger and resentment then we can forgive, and when we can forgive, we are free. There is no more need to hurt self or others. That is peace. Ridding ourselves of resentment is crucial to the process of restoring ourselves to sanity. And sanity, of course, means no more addiction. Sanity means life. Enjoy it.

     Finally, it is important to understand that letting go is a process. We don’t just read it in a supermarket self-help book and wala, we’ve let go and our life magically gets better. Letting go is the result of hard work. As we continue to take Steps year after year, we step back one day to realize that we have let go. We are completely okay with the way things are. We are okay with life. We are free inside. We have recovered.

God, help me become willing to take actions that help me to let go…

Intangible Connection

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     “But the ex-problem drinker who has found this solution, who is properly armed with facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours. Until such an understanding is reached, little or nothing can be accomplished.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, p.18

     Why is it that 10 years of psychotherapy, psychiatry, pharmaceutical interventions, social workers, addiction specialists, group therapy, AA & NA meetings, all sorts of ‘frothy emotional appeal’, and trying with all my might to exert my broken willpower only facilitated my descent from weed-obsessed teenager to acid tripper to raging alcoholic to pillhead to severely depressed, full-blown heroin/cocaine addict?
   
     And why is it that after 15 years of failing miserably with all the physical world had to offer did I meet a recovered addict and feel an indescribable, intangible connection that drove me to suddenly become willing to do ANYTHING it takes to get better?

     “That the man who is making the approach has had the same difficulty, that he obviously knows what he is talking about, that his whole deportment shouts at the new prospect that he is a man with a real answer, that he has no attitude of Holier Than Thou, nothing whatever except a sincere desire to be helpful; that there are no fees to pay, no axes to grind, no people to please, no lectures to be endured – these are the conditions we have found most effective. After such an approach is made, many take up their beds and walk again.” -Alcoholics Anonymous, pp.18-19

     Soon after I met and bonded with a recovered addict, I met God… and have been free from the slightest urge to self-destruct ever since. In fact, 8 years ago, on my hands and knees, from the very instant I read the 7th Step prayer, I have naturally repelled drugs and alcohol. There is no desire anymore. I don’t struggle. I am a free man. That is why I wrote my book and why I write this blog. Anyone capable of being honest can recover permanently and never again fight or struggle to stay sober. Not only that, but we can be filled with a tremendous sense of peace and purpose. Trust me, it only gets better and better.

God, please help addicts and alcoholics who still struggle find their way to the Steps and to You…