Tag Archives: Phenomenon of Craving

Alcoholic = Addict

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     I was just barely getting through a local meeting one night when I heard roughly this from the speaker:

     “By the way, if you’re a pothead hippie or some shit, then go to another meeting for like potheads anonymous. This is alcoholics anonymous. AA is for alcoholics, not drug addicts. If you smoke pot, you don’t even need to come here ’cause you’re still sober.”

     The guy was excruciating but I ended up laughing, as this sort of attitude is so common in my region. Clearly the speaker wasn’t an alcoholic. In fact, thousands of AA members around here aren’t even in the vicinity of alcoholism. What we’ve got is a slew of heavy drinkers who procured a few DUIs and were court-ordered to attend AA. Having no prior social skills and therefore no social life, they grab onto it like the bottle, come religiously, and saunter around the halls like Holier Than Thou ‘old timers’.

     Yes I know that is a generalization but you can trust me when I say I’ve been to just about every meeting on the north shore and there is virtually NO distinction. AA meetings around here are a shining example of untreated alcoholism.

   
     So regarding the difference between addicts and alcoholics, let’s just say that the notion itself is an oxymoron. There is no difference. The body of an addict is no physiologically different than the body of an alcoholic. Plus, if any of our so-called old timers picked up the Big Book, they could learn about how our allergic reaction to alcohol crosses all lines. If we experience the phenomenon of craving when we take a drink, then we will experience the phenomenon of craving when we take any mood-altering substance.

     Try it, if you want.

     If you’re a north shore drunk, go dump a pile of cocaine in front of you and call me at 6am when you’re practically seizing out but need another bag. Or why don’t you throw down a couple OC 40s every day for a week and then talk to me about how you need to get your hands on the OC 80s instead. Or perhaps you should start taking your wife’s anxiety medication and try not to rack up another DUI after passing out behind the wheel. But sure, of course you’re not also a drug addict… just an alcoholic, right?

     It doesn’t matter what your poison is. It doesn’t even matter if you hate coke or weed or benzos or dope. If you have the allergy, you are 100% screwed and therefore any substance will deliver you straight back to detox. But until then, have fun at the semi-annual sober dances.

God, teach us that the allergy crosses all lines and therefore we are not safe from any mood-altering substance…

Allergy

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     How do you know if you’re an alcoholic or not? Well, you can judge yourself, but I happen to agree with the Big Book that there are two components, aside from the underlying spiritual illness. The first is physical. Have we crossed over that invisible line? Have we broken our body? Have we acquired an allergy to drugs and alcohol? In short, can we stop once we start?

     I’m sure I didn’t start off as a full-fledged addict. It takes some time and effort to damage your body and brain past the point of no return. You need to get plastered or get high over and over and over again to cross that line. But when it happens, the body is forever changed.
     No exceptions.
     You will die with the body of an addict. That is a fact. There is a unique physiological response when I put any mood-altering substance in my body. Sure, normal people will have a few drinks and feel the pleasure of that, but then they stop, go home, and go to bed so they can wake up coherent in the morning and go to work. The addict’s body is quite different. He has a few drinks and an allergy is set off. He experiences what Dr. Silkworth, in his letter to Alcoholics Anonymous, referred to as the ‘phenomenon of craving’. His body begins to crave more to the extent that he cannot stop drinking until either he passes out, gets arrested, gets committed, or dies.
     In fact, if you are wondering, go test yourself. Go to a bar and start drinking. Have a few drinks and then see if you can stop. Can you? Better yet, see if you can have a few drinks and then stop for an entire year. Can you do that? The Big Book actually suggests that we test ourselves if there is any confusion as to whether or not we are an alcoholic. So go test yourself… unless your thing is speedballing heroin and cocaine into your aortic valve. That might kill you on the spot, and would sort of defeat the purpose of your test. We’d never know if you were a true junkbox!
     It also doesn’t matter how frequently we drink. Nor does it matter if we’ve somehow conjured the willpower to stay sober for a year, or maybe even five or ten years. Once we have the body of an addict, it doesn’t matter how long we can wait before drinking again. Our bodies are still the same when we go to pick up. It’s a question of how we drink when we drink, not when we drink. Try staying sober for 25 years and then have a drink… and then call me from detox. If you were an alcoholic 25 years ago, you’re an alcoholic today.
     The other component is mental and involves having a broken mind, if you will. Let’s do that another night, but in short, can you stay stopped once you stop? Can you? So bottom line: If you can’t stop once you start and you can’t stay stopped once you stop, chances are you’re an addict or alcoholic. And if all we do is remove the alcohol and drugs, we will relapse at some point. And once we relapse, we won’t stop. Relapsing will set off the phenomenon of craving.
     So we addicts and alcoholics will always have the bodies of alcoholics and addicts. We will die that way. What we can recover from, however, is the mental/spiritual problem. And if we can become sane again through right action, then we can stay stopped.
God, please help me to understand my allergy, that I may help educate other alcoholics…