Tag Archives: Self Will vs God’s Will

Self Will For God’s Will

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     “Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. ‘How can I best serve Thee – Thy will (not mine) be done.’ These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is proper use of the will.” -Alcoholics Anonymous, p.85

     Translation: I can use my self will until I’m blue in the face… to do God’s will.

     Why is it so difficult to understand the difference between self will and God’s will? Every time people discuss some horrible tragedy, someone always asks, “Golly gee, why did God let this horrible tragedy happen!?” Acts of horror have nothing to do with God’s will. Acts of abuse and violence are purely an act of self will, not God’s will. God’s will involves listening to and following our conscience. And yes, we do have one, except for the sociopaths and psychopaths. It is that visceral feeling we experience when we see, hear, or do something wrong and harmful. Where does it come from? Are we taught it? If so, then why does it occur on a cellular level?

     If we are relatively normal anatomically and cognitively, we should have been born with an innate sense of justice, although some are probably just born evil. But our problem is our individual actions, choices and exposure to cultural decay after birth. The French existentialist philosopher, Jean Paul Sartre, stated perfectly that our “existence precedes our essence” – we make ourselves who we are. Once we act wrong over and over again, once we get used to lying, stealing, manipulating and hurting self and others, our conscience takes a beating. To add insult to injury, we live in one very sick culture and de facto banana republic, but I won’t get into that right now or I’m sure to offend someone.

     Self will is any word, thought or action that is negative and causes harm or damage to self or others. God’s will is any word, thought or action that is positive and causes love, wellness, growth or productivity to self or others. So it’s not that we can’t ever use our self will… it just depends how we use it. We can use our self will all we freaking want to in order to do God’s will.

Also see: Self Will vs God’s Will

God, help me use my will to do Your will…

Jean Paul Sartre
Banana Republic

Rushing Out

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     Addicts shouldn’t be waking up and rushing out of the door first thing in the morning. If I don’t wake up and take some time to pray, breathe, be still, read some passage… the rest of my day is a total, utter disaster. The days I rush out are the days that drivers cut me off sending me into a rage, the days creditors call and accuse me of being a deadbeat, the days that I cut myself and have to turn around and drive home to bandage myself up, leaving me late and stressed out to some appointment. Those are the days that I cop resentments about everything because everything pisses me off, the days my mind starts racing again and I feel myself going nuts, the days that remind me how NOT better I really am.

     On the other hand, when I remember to wake up and stop first before speeding out of the door, the day is entirely different. It’s almost like magic. I just have to remember to get grounded and connected before subjecting myself to the endless noise of the world. Trust me, addicts need peace and quiet as much as anybody. I don’t care if you live in the city or in the middle of nowhere, alcoholics and drug addicts usually have a much lower tolerance for too much WORLD, if you will. We need to buckle up and tune in before we go out for the day.

     But why? Why is it that when I forget to pray in the morning does the rest of my day blow up right before my eyes? Conversely, how is it that I can better handle life and the stresses that smack me in the face when I stop and pray first? Well, I guess because prayer works if I’m not praying selfishly. But there’s more to it. Stopping and praying helps me to let go. It literally changes the chemistry in my brain so that I’m not solely relying on my will and my screwed up head to guide me through the day. It allows God’s will to take my hand, which helps me to instinctually know what to do next and how to do it. I realize that sounds pretty fluffy but, like anything, it’s hard to understand if you haven’t experienced it.

     For sure, there are two ways to get through life. One is the addict’s way and it is filled with struggle, chaos and failure. We are always butting heads with something, attracting conflict and running into bad luck. Nothing really works out living life this way. And sure by exerting my will and trying to run and control my life, I may achieve great success. But am I really successful? Am I really succeeding if I am void of one, fundamental thing – peace? So it’s either the addict’s way (the way of the Self) or it’s God’s way (or whatever you want to call it. Doesn’t matter.) One way is frantic. The other is much more sane and mellow.

God, help me remember to stop, be still, and listen to You before rushing out in the morning…