Tag Archives: Service

Good Things Come…

Posted on by under Blessings, Gifts, God, Service

     …To those who serve God.

     I used to wonder why I didn’t have this and why I didn’t have that. Why aren’t I a famous writer and why aren’t I a rock star? Why can’t I get ahead financially and why aren’t I a billionaire already?

     Answer: Change the focus. Serve God and good things will come to us.

     If we anxiously push and force and exert our will to obtain worldly things (including people), they will naturally elude us. Only by letting go of our selfish desires will they begin to manifest. Abundance is all ours once we forget about self, once we let go of needing anything, once we let go of outcome.

     And even if we don’t get smothered with abundance and prosperity, serve God anyway because it is the right thing to do, the strong and courageous thing to do, the honorable thing to do, the spiritual thing to do. Serve God, because if we don’t, we become empty and meaningless.

     And if you’re an addict and you begin the Steps and take a 3rd Step and then turn your back on God, watch out. Bad things will happen. The Steps didn’t fail you. God didn’t fail you. You failed yourself. Good job.

     After many years of being recovered, I’ve found that life is not about self. Sure it is about growing spiritually and living life with strength, love and honesty. And it most certainly about hard work, creativity, contribution, growth and success. But it is without question about others, about family, about our children… and their future.

God, please give me the strength and willingness to do Your will and Your work, and do it well…

Addiction Is a Spiritual Problem

Posted on by under Addiction 101, God, Mental Obsession, Service, Solution

     Addiction is a spiritual problem.

     Yes, I understand there are physical and mental components, but these elements manifest themselves after we have become spiritually ill. Addiction is a symptom of spiritual malady. That is the truth, regardless of what anyone may say.

     Before moving on to the solution, it is imperative to explain the mental component to better help non-addicts truly understand what it’s like to be an addict. The mental problem we have is why once we get sober, we cannot stay that way. People have to understand that there is nothing that can stop us from using once that switch goes off in our heads, even if we’ve been sober for months and months at a time. This is what it means to have no power, to have lost the power of choice. Perhaps a brief anecdote may help to describe the curious phenomenon of having a broken mind, if you will.

     Years ago, while working in Boston, I writhed in bed for days like a coward before finally kicking OxyContin and heroin. I withdrew all substances from my body and was totally clean and sober. About five days later, as I began to feel better, I remember having a conversation with myself as I drove home from work. I was done. I knew it in my heart. I went over my entire life and came to grips with the tragedy, loss and heartache my addiction had caused everyone around me. I felt strong and confident. I wanted a better life. I committed to never going back. I was done for good.

     Then the phone rang.

     It was my one of my dealers.

     This you must understand: As soon as the phone rang, for all intents and purposes, the car drove itself off of Storrow Drive and straight to my dealer’s house. I didn’t think for a split second. I couldn’t. Why? Because it was just a reflex at that point. I saw my caller ID and the entire 20-minute conversation I had with myself seconds before just vanished into thin air and I ripped the steering wheel around and sped to his house without a single thought entering my head (except what’s the quickest route?). And please don’t mistake my phone or the dealer’s number as a trigger, because it’s not. Breathing is the only trigger. If the dealer didn’t call, I wouldn’t have made it out of the city anyway. The phone is irrelevant.

     To note, what I just described was purely a mental phenomenon and had nothing to do with the physical disease of addiction, or rather, the physical compulsions associated with addiction. The ‘disease’ portion of our addiction only manifests AFTER we begin using. When we are completely sober, what occurs is purely mental (and spiritual, of course).

     And that, my friends, is the mental obsession. We have no defense against it. Trust me, no doctor, pill, therapy session, call from a sponsor or relapse prevention program can do anything at all once an obsession of this sort manifests itself in our minds. That is a type of insanity that cannot be fought and conquered by any human force. We are completely, utterly defenseless. That is addiction. That is why we can’t stay sober. We go insane.

     So what is the solution?

     If our problem is spiritual than so must be our solution.

     The solution is spiritual action, or practically speaking, SERVICE. The very moment we become other-centered is the very moment we begin to change and recover permanently (mentally, not physically, as we will never be safe from actually drinking or using drugs of any sort. Our bodies are permanently damaged). But the secret to addiction is service, which is why the entire Western medical community has no clue how to treat it. They try and they try but they just can’t seem to crack it. Plus there’s no financial incentive in telling drug addicts to simply give of themselves. But if we really want to get better and truly change, we have to serve others instead of ourselves. Service is the SILVER BULLET. Best thing for addicts, by far.

     And why does spiritual action and service work? Because with each right action, we are brought closer to God. And GOD, of course, can heal anybody of anything.

Recovery = Balance

Posted on by under http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post

     After 8+ recovered years, I’ve changed my tune a bit. I used to think that non-stop recovery was essential to lifelong health. Don’t get me wrong, in early sobriety, we have to work our asses off if we are to fully recover. Without question, we must go to any lengths to get better. That means that we never procrastinate, never ignore our conscience, and actively seek out opportunities to give back. That means that we take rigorous action. We write inventory, we read it, we pray, we meditate, we give service, we give to our families and we make our amends – all without hesitation. We put our spiritual growth above all else and we don’t stop until we are sane once again. And yes, we will always continue doing the work.

     But one thing I have learned is that there is a time for everything. Sometimes I focus more on my recovery, sometimes more on my family, sometimes more on my career. I’ve also learned that we can’t give every second of the day and every cell in our body to working with other addicts. Why? 1) because we’ll burn out due to self neglect and 2) because if that is our only source of fuel, then what happens when we stop? We won’t know how to be okay without helping people 24/7. What happens when we go off into the world to pursue the rest of our lives? What happens is that we suffer. We must learn to be okay whether we’re helping people or not.
The answer: Balance.
     When I look back over my path, I realize that the reason I am still strong, happy and successful is because I didn’t go off the deep end in any direction. After a few gung ho years, I pulled back a bit to focus on my family and my business. I also pulled back to take better care of myself. After working non-stop with knucklehead teenagers at the (total waste of taxpayer money) recovery school, I sensed myself burning out a bit. So when I left, I exercised more, I played tennis and golf, I went to the beach, and I nourished my creativity. I also got back to praying and meditating. Other times I gave more to my friends and family. And yet other times I stretched myself with work and starting a business.
     I now realize that it isn’t too healthy to go overboard with any of these things. We can and will burn out. And then what good are we to ourselves, to others, to recovery, and to God? That’s right, we are no good at all. The point of recovery is to always be okay, so that we can stay recovered throughout life and always be in the position to give back if need be. There is no point in burning out. All of the people you help rushing around will wonder if they were following the right guy when he goes nuts again, relapses and destroys everything he worked so hard to put back together.
     Don’t burn out. Listen to your gut. Give yourself what you need, when you need it. It’s okay to be selfish sometimes if we are doing so to stay fit for others and for God.