Tag Archives: Sobriety vs Change

Courage or Cowardice?

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     “We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, p.19

     Wow. Congratulations. So we finally got sober. Now what?
     Achieving physical sobriety is about .05% of the total work required to become recovered.
     “We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs.” (Ibid.)
     Are we going to remove our character defects?
     Are we going to exorcise the demons of selfishness, fear, dishonesty and fraudulence?
     Are we going to grow, change, and evolve spiritually?
     Are we going to give back to all those we have stolen from, spit on, and taken advantage of?
     Are we going to pick up the pieces of the broken hearts we left behind?
     Are we going to change the way we conduct ourselves?
     Are we going to stop taking credit for our recovery and the blessings in our lives?
     Are we going to show some gratitude and get our heads out of the pity pot?
     Are we going to become adults and realize we’re not the only ones who suffer?
     Are we going to stop blaming anyone and anything for what we’ve become?
     Are we going to take responsibility for our illness and the damage it has caused?
     Are we going to be accountable for our words, thoughts and actions for the rest of our lives?
     Are we going to live with some humility and forgo the arrogance?
     Are we going to bow before God?
     If so, then we are well on our way to becoming fully recovered and having an incredible life filled with miracles.
     If not, then we will continue to hurt others, suffer greatly, eventually relapse, and ultimately meet a very bitter end.
     Two parting thoughts: 1) Without honesty, we soon go insane, addict or not. 2) The #1 reason I took Steps and recovered, besides the fact that actively drinking or using once we’ve lost control is an abomination, is that I was sick of being a coward.  
God, please help every addict in the world find their way to the Steps and to You…

Get An Addict Better…

Posted on by under Remedies vs Solution, Sobriety vs Change, Spiritual Action

     … and he or she can do incredible, amazing things.

      Like the teenaged kid I know who overdosed from shooting heroin and was pretty much dead until he was shot up with two loads of Narcan, took Steps, recovered, asked me for a ride to make amends to a sporting goods franchise he stole from, made a slew of other frightening amends, started multiple groups and ended up managing a sober house, all while sponsoring several others.

      Or the girl I know who took Steps, recovered and started speaking all over the place, began sponsoring countless other girls and went on to run a women’s sober house while working another full time job. Just as strange is how happy, content and at peace she is. You would never know she was/is a drug addict.

     Or the other guys I know who took Steps, recovered, and then went on to open up multiple sober houses after sponsoring piles and piles of other guys, all the while starting groups, running other groups, and working intensively with individual family members and parents.

     Huh?

     Don’t selfish, lazy, deranged, piece of shit drugs addicts get sober only to hold on by a thread, frantically running from meeting to meeting, chain smoking butts and nursing iced coffees all day long? Don’t they retain most, if not all of their personality flaws, still acting like defensive, jaded, victims? Wait, I thought we were all pretty much toast once we become chronic, hopeless addicts.

     Nope.

     The truth is that many alcoholics and drug addicts are talented, ambitious, and potentially incredible people. Every drug addict who not only achieves physical sobriety but who recovers fully in his or her mind, heart and soul, can re-join the world and do amazing things. They can help countless others, or contribute in other untold ways. Recovered addicts can effect great change in this world simply because they are now glowing within and powered by the limitless strength and wisdom of GOD.

God, please help addicts who still suffer find their way to the Steps and to You…  

Pain Dependent?

Posted on by under Mindset, Pain-dependency, Sobriety vs Change

     Are we pain dependent? Yes, we are! Why in hell would someone be pain dependent? Well, it’s because happiness, joy, calm, peace, stability and success are just way too foreign to us. Chaos, misery, pain, sadness, suffering, depression, anger, angst and failure are much more familiar territory.

     That sounds demented and insane, doesn’t it? Yeah, that’s because the mind of an alcoholic/addict is demented and insane, which is precisely why achieving physical sobriety alone won’t solve anything. Our problem is much larger than alcohol and drugs.
     After years of masochistic behavior, the totality of self-abuse engrains a certain frame of reference. Everything in life becomes a struggle. Everything is a disappointment. Everything is hard. Nothing works out. Nobody understands us. Nobody is on our side. Everybody is out to get us. The world is totally messed up. Nobody feels the way we do. Nobody cares. Failure is inevitable. Success and contentment are unreachable. There is a permanent abyss between who we are and who we wish we could be.
     If that is our mind set, our chaotic and troubled way of life becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It becomes natural to fail, butt heads, and screw up. It becomes natural to have drama, controversy, and confrontation. Bad luck is a daily routine.
     When this is our reality, chaos, confusion, deception and misery become our preferred way of life, simply because they are so familiar. Conversely, success, love and joy are like foreign enemies, more of a threat than a comfort. Instead of bringing us peace, they make us more uncomfortable and insecure.
     As alcoholics and addicts, we much prefer to set the bar as low as possible. That way nobody is surprised when we screw up, and any success whatsoever gets us a pat on the back. How messed up is that? Yeah, I know, but that is who we are. Believe it or not, we are actually pain-dependent.
God, free me from self-will today…

Moral Compass

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     The problem with alcoholics and addicts isn’t alcohol and drugs. Our problem is that we are void of spiritual principles. We have no moral compass. So getting better has little to do with just getting sober. To get better we must replace the poisons of fear, dishonesty, pride, resentment, self-pity, self-seeking and narcissism with honesty, courage, tolerance, patience, humility and other-centeredness.

    When we become a cauldron of moral and spiritual decay, we begin to have a problem with everything and everyone, even though our circumstances are nobody’s fault but our own.

     Without spiritual guidance, we are lost. We think it is normal and okay to judge, criticize, gossip, be petty and emotional. We become emotionally immature and eventually somewhat retarded. We slowly lose ourselves and eventually we lose our souls altogether. We take everything for granted as we become lost in self-absorption. Soon we are no longer capable of swallowing our pride at all. We can’t swallow our ego, our self-seeking, our fear or our dishonesty. We fail to ever admit our wrongs or take responsibility for anything. Humility is no longer in our vocabulary. Hey, what do you know… we’ve become sociopaths.

     By the way, if we are incapable or unwilling to ever admit our fault in anything, then we can’t have any genuine relationships. All of our relationships are phony at that point. And sadly, we are phony.

     Lack of spiritual guidance and action leaves us with no purpose, which gradually turns us into sociopaths. With no moral compass, we have no compass at all. We are lost in the dark. This is why we need to get better. We need to fix ourselves not because of our drug and alcohol addiction, but because of the people we’ve become.

God, help me do the right thing today…

Untreated Alcoholism

Posted on by under Self Will, Sobriety vs Change, Spiritual Growth, Untreated Alcoholism

     The problem with only achieving physical sobriety is that we may never get any better.

     Why?

     Because sobriety doesn’t cure insanity, nor does it reduce selfishness. Sobriety doesn’t stop us from constantly whining and complaining, from thinking about ourselves 24/7. How ridiculous it is to get sober but remain mentally and spiritually warped beyond comprehension. In fact, if you’re gonna kick it and not really change, you might as well just keep drinking. At least you’d be making a small economic contribution.

     Most addicts are actually more annoying when they’re sober yet untreated, if you can fathom that. We remain needy and obsessed with how we feel all of the time.

     Oh no, what am I doing in life?! What am I gonna do today? What am I gonna do tomorrow?! Nobody knows what it’s like to be me. Me! Why do I feel this way? Poor me. Nobody has it this tough! The world owes me! I need a cigarette, I need this, I need that, I need to go to a meeting! I want cookies, I want ice cream, I want… wanh, wanh, wanh, wanh, wanh! 

     Yup. If all we do is remove the drugs and alcohol, we still act like drug addicts and alcoholics. But, hey, at least we’re sober! What a joke. Addicts and alcoholics can do as much, if not more damage to others by achieving physical sobriety but failing to actually get better.

     Once sober, I literally have a volcano of work to do on myself. I must begin to extract the cauldron of poisons that have turned me into a pathologically selfish drug addict. I must extract the poisons of selfishness, self-seeking, dishonesty, fear, and countless others if I am to truly recover. I must take it upon myself to fundamentally change the person I was. I must change the way I act, react and respond. I must change the way I view suffering. I must change the way I approach others. I must change my attitude towards life, work, relationships and family. For sure, I must change from deep within.

     Through right action, I begin to enlarge my spiritual life. I begin to accept that I shouldn’t be taking credit for every good thing that happens to me… and I shouldn’t be blaming something else for every bad thing. I begin to realize that the bad stuff is my own fault. It happens when I try to do things my way, when I exert my own selfish will. But the good stuff happens when I let go, when I step back a little and let something guide me that is much greater and more powerful.

     Even if you’re an addict and you don’t believe that God is present in your life, maybe you should change your mind because it’s much better to have a humble attitude as opposed to attributing your recovery and success to you and you only.

     Why?

     Because it’s arrogant not to. Are we really that powerful? Are we really all-knowing? Do we really have it all figured out? Please. Look how small and insignificant we are compared to the entire Universe.

God, give me the courage, power and willingness to walk through discomfort, just like everybody else…