The reason I can’t take credit for becoming permanently recovered is because I know exactly what happened to me. I was touched by the hand of God. It happens. It’s real. And it had nothing to do with me. A mere dusting of God’s power was enough to change me forever.
Unfortunately, it is impossible to fully understand or even explain something if one hasn’t experienced it oneself, especially if we’re talking about a mystical event that lies outside scientific theory. Do I have evidence that I was touched by God? Sure. My bio-chemistry was instantly restored, and from that moment on I no longer suffered from any number of illnesses such as clinical depression etc. But I have no brain scans to show you and therefore people who haven’t felt God or witnessed a miracle just refuse to believe me.
The best evidence is my life – after living chained, a slave, a chronic, hopeless, emaciated, chain-smoking, scumbag drug addict/alcoholic/severely depressed selfish asshole for 15 years, the moment that God flowed through me I haven’t had the slightest urge to self-destruct. That and I am unrecognizable to the man I used to be, or man-child rather. My life has blossomed into a great and wonderful adventure. Anything is possible. And yes, I have suffered, lost, been the object of scorn and lies… and no urge to self-destruct. Sure I have darkness and demons… but drugs and alcohol? Not a problem. Never will be.
Therefore, I cannot take credit for something that I couldn’t even come close to doing on my own for all of those years. And I know this because I earnestly wanted to and desperately tried. I know for a fact that God is, that God saved me and restored me to sanity. I know this because I felt Him. I know this because He came from outside of my body. The energy that restored me that night came from above. No, I’m not shitting you. It was a flow of energy that came down from the Universe.
I know, I know, and the answer is yes, I did eat lots of acid, but no, I wasn’t on acid when I read my 4th Step and prayed earnestly in the middle of the night up North in treatment.
I think you’re starting to get the picture. There is a solution for addiction… and that solution is God. Give yourself to Him now or continue to suffer and hurt others. The choice is yours. Selfishness or Grace.