Triggers & Relapse Prevention

     I know I’ve said this before, but it’s important…

     If an addict is honest with himself, he will admit that triggers don’t exist. Breathing, waking up, the fact that we’re alive – these are the only triggers. Everything is a trigger, or rather, nothing is. We don’t need a reason to use. Triggers are flimsy excuses that allow us to avoid taking responsibility for relapsing. The truth is that so long as we suffer from the mental obsession, anything could be a trigger. The overwhelming thought to use will come for any reason or for no reason at all. So avoiding triggers is a useless endeavor. You cannot escape the mental obsession. The only way to free ourselves from triggers is to undergo a psychic change that fundamentally restores our minds, hearts and spirits.

     That’s why relapse prevention is a joke. It assumes that triggers actually exist and as such, treatment amounts to avoiding people, places and things that make us want to use. Sorry, but that’s not a solution, which is a shame given this is the only thing MSM (Mainstream Treatment Methods) has to offer – to remain an insane drug addict and pray that you don’t bump into one of your triggers. That would make it pretty tough just to get to work…

     Hmmm, can’t go that way because I pass by the liquor store… but I can’t go the other way because I pass by the park I used to get high at and that’s a trigger of mine also… Gee, I guess I’ll have to just lock myself up and throw away the key…

     Is that a solution? Nope. How about becoming free to go anywhere on earth that we so desire? Is that possible for even the most beat up, hopeless drug addicts? Yup, sure is. As soon as you get out of detox, find a recovered individual to take you through a Step process (as its laid out in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous). Be completely honest, thorough and fearless (99% = ZERO). Go to any lengths. Don’t give up. If you really want to change, if you really want to grow spiritually, if you really want to be free, then God will free you.

God, please give me the power and willingness to go to any length to get better…  

Nature Knows Best

     “Nature knows best

       because it doesn’t expect
       anything to come
       except what comes next.”
      – C. Peabody, line from poem Nature Knows Best, 1997
     Truly does the wisdom of nature contain within it the secret to life. Observe nature and you will see pure and absolute freedom. Observe nature and you will see problem-free life. And if we can somehow live by the rules of nature, that is the closest we might come to infinite peace, freedom and contentment. What is the secret?
     Self-help gurus call it non-resistance. Nature is perfectly happy to let whatever comes come, and to let whatever goes go. It does not stand up stubbornly and fight against the forces acting against it. If the wind blows against the trees, they do not refuse to budge, but rather move in the direction the wind blows them. Even if the wind comes strong and breaks a branch, the tree doesn’t run after the lost branch nor does it cry or whine or retaliate in anger.
     When the waves break upon the rocks along the shore, they do not turn around and run the other way. The water simply moves around the rocks, flowing in any direction it can. Some flows right, some flows left, but it’s no big deal. The water doesn’t complain about the rocks being in its path. Neither does the rock complain about getting all wet. They accept each other. They accept the forces acting upon them. They accept whatever happens, whether good or bad, warm or cold, wet or dry.
     And this is the secret. Sure we all have problems. And no, we are not doormats. If we’re being oppressed, we stand up and fight. But most of our problems are the kind we make up in our heads. Sure there are certain real problems such as food, clothing, shelter and money. But what about all the rest? 
     Couldn’t we eliminate a mountain of pain from our lives simply by changing our perception, or changing our response to, say, a non-response? Next time something outside of our control happens, why suffer more than we have to? Why not just accept it? If we gain, we gain. If we lose, we lose. But either way, we’re okay with the outcome because we accept everything and expect nothing. We don’t fight against what is, what was, or what may be. We don’t budge. We don’t resist. We rise to the nobility, the grace, the beauty and the wisdom of nature.
God, help me see that everything is a miracle… 

Touched By God

      In an instant, I was changed forever. As I finished reading twelve hours of inventory, I got down on my knees and recited a prayer from the Big Book. The moment I finished, I laughed and cried simultaneously. In that instant, something from outside of my body hit me like a lightening bolt.

     It was mind-numbing in its power. It was unfathomable and indescribable and totally unreachable. It was limitless and unprecedented and capable of anything. In every sense, it was beyond the scope of human understanding and conception. It was pure freedom and pure emptiness and pure love. It flowed through me for a brief time. My mind was suddenly reset and there were no thoughts. All of my fear vanished, and I knew that I was okay and that anything was possible.

     It was then I realized that there exists a power so beyond our realm of comprehension that it’s pointless to even discuss. I realized that GOD must be this mind-blowing power that is so boundless and so beautiful. One brief zap and my entire being was instantly and profoundly changed forever.

     From that moment on, nothing has been unbearable. From that moment on, I’ve naturally repelled all people, places and things that are destructive. From that moment on, I have lived without fear and jealousy. How is that possible? How could I have felt such a mind-bending power touch me, flow through me, and leave me forever changed? Can that be explained via scientific theory? Nope.

     I now know that God-power does exist and that It is well beyond the scope of the human mind. For all of our man-made religions, rituals, codes and creeds, we can’t even get close to it. The capacity of God-power is even beyond description. And the fullness of God will never be clear in our conscious. The only thing we can do is to take actions that may bring us closer to Him. And perhaps a miracle will occur and It will touch us. I sure didn’t deserve for It to touch me but it did. And so I pass this experience onto other alcoholics, addicts, or anyone else who suffers. There is a real solution. There is a way out, but it lies in the spiritual realm. Are you ready for that?

God, please remove my defects of character and replace them with love…