Category Archives: Self Responsibility

Sartre

Posted on by under Existence Precedes Essence, Sarte, Self Responsibility

     Jean Paul Sartre: “Existence precedes essence”.

     Whether we end up a hero or a drug addict, Sartre contends that we make ourselves into who or what we are. If we become a drug addicts, we have turned ourselves into drug addicts. There is no blaming our genes, or our parents, or our feelings, or our psychic pain from a past life. Likewise, if we become heroes, it is because we have turned ourselves into heroes.

     We are not born alcoholics or drug addicts. We turn ourselves into them. Sure, there is now scientific evidence of an alcoholic allele, responsible for a predisposition to substance dependency. But we never become useless, selfish alcoholics unless we actually start drinking over and over and over and over. The booze doesn’t crawl its way up our bodies and pour itself down our throats. Neither do we become addicts because of our sadness, or our family tree, or the stress of our lives. We do it to ourselves and therefore we are solely responsible for turning ourselves into addicts. We are solely responsible for breaking our minds and our bodies. We cannot blame anything or anyone for becoming alcoholic cowards.

     I often get the chance to remind myself of Sartre’s wisdom every time I beat myself up for not achieving something, for not having something, for not being completely f’ing enlightened. I get to remind myself that nothing external is to blame for what I am or for where I am in life. And sure, though my specific genetic structure and certain predispositions may coincide with who I am now, the cementing of my behaviors, my abilities, and my personality is my doing and my doing alone.

     So the next time I sulk and cry into my pity pot, Sartre will kindly remind me that I am what I do, that I am making myself into who and what I am everyday… and therefore I can at any time simply get off my ass and change. And because Sartre was kind enough not to hoard his gifts, he reminds us all that our “existence precedes our essence”.

God, help me to always remember that I make myself who I am through my own words, thoughts and actions…

Sartre, Kierkegaard & Existentialism

Resentment

Posted on by under False Perceptions, Resentment, Self Responsibility, Spiritual Poison
“Anger and resentment are like acid to a seeing eye. They burn and blind the eye so that it cannot see clearly anymore. As long as they inhabit the body, forgiveness is impossible. But when I become accountable for everything in my life, all of it magically crumbles and suddenly I can forgive anyone. I just don’t care anymore because there is nothing left to blame. Above all, I can forgive myself. That is a miracle.” – TPA p.165

   
     Why do I write inventory? To extract resentment from my body. What is resentment? It’s a form of poison caused by an inability to perceive things clearly. Resentments are not caused by anybody else. They are caused by me and me alone. Sure, some person may have wronged me terribly. But the birth of the resentment and it’s growing presence within is caused by my reaction to that event. I caused it, and therefore I own it. Nobody can extract it but me. This is why addicts and alcoholics are so blessed with God-given tools such as inventory.

(Note: Also see Resentment Inventory, Resentment Inventory Example, Fear Inventory, Sex Inventory, More Inventory, Home Depot Inventory, Professor Masshole & Resenting Ourselves?)

     Sometimes it is difficult to see my responsibility in causing a resentment. But as sure as the sun, it is there, covered by layer upon layer of self-deception, denial, and just plain ignorance. Because I am defensive, proud, ashamed, scared and dishonest, I must do some work to figure out my part in causing the resentment.

     So why bother with all that? Why should I spend my precious time extracting resentment from my being? Well, first of all, it’s my responsibility. Second, resentments left unchecked can destroy an alcoholic or drug addict sooner than the drug itself. More importantly, they will destroy an addict who has already gotten sober. They will rob him or her of a fulfilling life with fulfilling relationships. They will keep his mind warped and twisted. They will keep him spiritually ill. They will keep a wall up between him and getting better, between him and God. Ultimately, as with any other poison, they may end him altogether.

     In order to get better, I had to stop choosing to see events as acting upon me as opposed to attracting the events to myself. Why? Because by committing the former, I begin reacting to events that I falsely believe something else is responsible for. My feelings become dependent on the world around me, dependent on the words, actions, and moods of those around me. Letting go of my dependence on the external world = internal freedom.

     Truth be told, it really doesn’t matter who we are, addict or not. The bottom line is that resentment left to brood will crush anybody. Extracting resentments and the mechanisms by which they are born is necessary to achieve peace. I suppose this is just what it means to grow up.

God, please give me the courage, willingness and clarity to extract resentment and anger from within…