Half Measures

     Half measures availed us nothing…

     The Big Book says that if we have decided we want peace and freedom then we must be “willing to go to any lengths” to get it.

     It also says, “We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, p.58

     Why do half measures yield zero results? Because our solution must be more powerful than our addiction, which has grown very powerful over the years. If we have been a one-man wrecking ball for years and years, then group therapy, some role play, and a few anti-depressants aren’t gonna cut it. Also, God knows that we have been half-assing life yet fully expecting top notch results. Why would we get off so easily for a lifetime of recovery? Isn’t it better for addicts to do some hard work on themselves for a payoff that we really don’t deserve to begin with?

     We must be willing to go to any lengths because this requires us to fully commit to spiritual growth. If we are willing to do anything it takes to get better, then we have undergone a fundamental change within. We have let go of our old ways. In fact, we may have to shed our entire identity or life’s purpose. This is the requirement to undergo an “entire psychic change”, where alcohol and drugs are no longer a problem for us.

     The psychic change is also responsible for changing the way we think and the way we conduct ourselves. No longer will we live and breathe through a self-centered frame of reference. To undo a lifetime of selfishness, we must be at least willing to do anything it takes.

     By the way, that famous Big Book line ‘half measures availed us nothing’ was taken from the text of an old relative of mine: Richard Peabody’s The Common Sense of Drinking

God, remind me everyday that half measures yield half results, or no result whatsoever…

Them, Not Us

     Someone once asked me about one of her amends. I told her she needed to make it. She said,

    “But this f’ing bitch was way more of an f’ing bitch than I was.”

      First of all, wanh, wanh, wanh… do you want a pity-pot to cry in? I didn’t say that, although it would have been a good idea. I told her to first pray for this person until she no longer cares about what she did. She said, 

     “I will never pray for her other than to pray she rots in hell.”

     Oh, okay. So then why the hell are you asking me for advice when you aren’t really serious about getting better? Why bother doing any amends at all if you’re going to leave out the ones where someone else wronged you too? I told her that she is not willing to go to any lengths to get better and that ultimately she will relapse. And she did. Two weeks later.

     99.9% = 0%.

     If we plan on recovering from alcoholism and addiction, we must give 100% and we must never leave anything out. Sure others are flawed, but it’s not about them. If someone has wronged us but we owe them an amends as well, we better make it and not expect a single thing in return.

     So why do we have to make ALL of our amends, other than because we have wronged others and it’s the right thing to do? We make them because if we don’t, we will drink again. If we cannot swallow our pride and make an amends to someone who has also wronged us, we have no business in the Steps. Once we take that 3rd Step and make a pact with God, we are entering mystical territory. At that point, if we walk away, bad things will happen. Trust me. I see it all the time.

God, please give me the power, strength and willingness to make all my amends, and to continue making amends if and when I hurt other going foward…