Tag Archives: Immaturity

One of Seven Billion

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     Guess what? I am just one of seven billion people who all feel the same things and go through the same things. My human experience in no more novel than anybody else’s.

     My pain is no more excruciating. My depression is no more brutal. My addiction and alcoholism is no tougher. My anxiety, insecurity and self-consciousness are no more agonizing. My life problems are no harder. My relationships, jobs, finances are no more complicated. My thoughts, emotions and feelings are no more unique. My challenges, both internal and external, are no more difficult.

     My life takes place in the same human body and the same human mind as everybody else’s. There’s nothing special about me. How do we addicts become so narcissistic as to assume we are somehow different from everybody else?

     Trust me, we’re not. We just think we are. We think nobody in the world really knows what it’s like to be us, to feel the way we do, to think the way we do, to suffer the way we do. In fact, the only thing that distinguishes us at all is our degree of narcissism.

     So whether we are alcoholics, addicts, or just plain mentally ill, it’s good to look in the mirror at least once a day to affirm:

     You aren’t different. You aren’t special. You aren’t a victim. You don’t have it particularly tough in life. You don’t have problems that no one else has. You don’t have a harder life than others. You aren’t smarter than others. You aren’t more talented than others. The world doesn’t owe you anything. Nobody owes you anything. The only difference between you and other people your age is that you still haven’t grown up. You don’t realize that nobody else is responsible for your circumstances. You don’t realize that nobody else is responsible for the way you feel. You don’t realize that life isn’t about you feeling good all of the time.

     Guess what? There are seven billion of us. So stop whining and get to work…

God, help me to get outside of myself and remember that I am just one of seven billion…

Projection

Posted on by under Immaturity, Narcissism, Projection, Self-Hatred

     When we engage in projection, we are in a state of delusion. Projection is when we transfer or “project” our own defects onto someone else. We accuse others of the very qualities, behaviors and attitudes that we own ourselves. So when I’m screaming at someone, or judging them, or calling them names, or ripping them apart from every angle, I should be screaming in a mirror because I’m really just talking about myself. I tend to think that when we lash out angrily at others, most of what we say is projection. Addicts, narcissists and crazy people who are incapable of assuming any responsibility for their words, thoughts and actions engage in pathological projection. I suppose it’s a defense mechanism born of too much pride, shame, self-hatred and immaturity.
   
     We who project are like children who never grew up. We become ever more damaged and now live in a deluded world of our own, broken from reality and shattered to the core. I know a few crazies like this, and let me say that now I know how annoying and pathetic I once was. When my son was born, I became the object of someone’s projection, and I thanked God that though I became an alcoholic, I didn’t become damaged beyond repair. I never lost the capacity to be honest with myself, which, along with willingness, is the one requirement to getting better. But if I had become this damaged, my entire life would have become a joke. It would have become a waste of air, water and other precious natural resources. I would have gone through my entire life hurting others with no shame, no remorse, no accountability…

     So to my fellow addicts out there still abusing people at will, take the advice one of my guides so kindly imparted to me long ago:

     Grow up.

God, please remove my defects of character, and replace them with love…