Tag Archives: Whining

Sorry, But Nothing “Happens” to An Addict or An Alcoholic – Your Entire Life Has Been Created By You and No One Else

Posted on by under Uncategorized

Hey guys, first a quick reminder to join The Privileged Addict Telegram channel. It’s the replacement for the old TPA Facebook Page. I will never again use or support a platform that censors people and opposing opinions, actively demonizes the truth, and promotes dangerous propaganda as “facts.” It is free,  just like this blog, and where I can post the TPA memes and day to day thoughts, as well as links to new posts.

I have made a commitment to tell the truth about addiction, alcoholism, recovery and God as it has been revealed to me through my experience and what I have learned over the years. Therefore, I will never sugar-coat this subject nor will I censor myself. This is not only a life and death concern, but the truth is especially important when you consider the damage and abuse addicts and alcoholics inflict on their families, spouses, parents, children, friends, communities, the entire world, and of course, themselves.

Speaking to my wife today who expressed a shared aversion to the soon to follow phrase and general attitude, I managed to find some inspiration to write… so here are some thoughts.

The worst thing anyone can tell an addict is, “I’m so sorry this is happening to you.” Um, nothing is “happening” to us. We have literally created our current lives in entirety and we alone are responsible for everything that “happens” to us. Needless to say, we are also responsible for how we respond to these events. We must take ownership of the people we have become. Addiction does not “happen” to you. You turn yourself willingly and quite deliberately into an addict. You have made your life about nothing but yourself, your comfort and your physical pleasure. You have refused to grow up and accept adult human life the way it is. And like a child, you do not care about anyone else but yourself. You do not think about others, because if you did, you would understand that anything you do to hurt yourself breaks the hearts of those who love you. There is no getting around this. Using drugs and drinking is selfish NO MATTER WHAT.

So just like we can choose God and what it is right, we can (and we do) also choose evil and what is objectively wrong. Yes, we choose to be addicts or we choose to be recovered. If the progressive bullshit you hear today were true and addicts actually could not stop, nobody would ever recover. This is of course, asinine, and runs contrary to logic, reason, experience and truth. I have been recovered for 17 years and I have no obsession to use or drink whatsoever. For the 15 years prior to returning to sanity, all I did was use. At some point, I become genuinely terrified about the condition and the fate of my soul, and it is at that moment that God began to conspire to facilitate a spiritual experience whereby I was touched by the Lord.

By the way, His power is not only real but it is so mind-blowing and limitless and intense, that once a person is touched by Him, the drug problem vanishes. If you come to want God and spiritual growth more than drugs (and trust me, it is much better), you have solved your problem. There is also a sudden and keen awareness that everything we have generally believed in life is a lie. For one, fear is a lie. Fear is the greatest human illusion and it is sin. It is the opposite of faith. It is also the single reason why nothing in your life works out, if that is the case with you. The secret to success is merely the absence of fear… and some hard work, of course. But when we let go and give our lives to God and trust in Him, not only will have everything we need, but the rest of our worldly lives will succeed to the greatest degree possible.

So regarding the notion the addiction “happens” to the addict (this is difficult to even write as it is so absurd), there is no such thing as a trigger. Nothing outside of you makes you drink or use, nor does it make you WANT to drink or use. YOU are the one and the only thing that makes you use and that makes you want to use. Breathing is the only trigger. And if you are sober and you still want to use or drink, you are guaranteed to relapse because you are still completely insane. Only when the obsession is removed and you have been restored to sanity by your Creator (thus establishing a relationship with Him and with your conscience), will you then never return to using drugs or drinking alcohol, which are all spiritual poisons. Alcohol in particular opens the individual up to demonic energy and is particularly destructive. How ironic that it is the most widely used, legally sold substance.

The utter nonsense that liberal progressives, faux scientists, doctors and experts say about addiction and recovery is unbelievable and dangerous. Relapse is part of recovery? What a stupid thing to say to an addict. “Hey, listen, give it a try but if you relapse over and over and over and over again, no biggie.” Sorry, but no. The truth? Relapse has nothing to do with recovery. That’s the point of recovery – you don’t relapse.

The mindset that something external is “happening” to us is a dangerous and warped belief to adopt. First of all, it is the antithesis of self-honesty and therefore the antithesis of true growth and recovery. No addict will get better when they have been brainwashed with a false victim mentality. We are not victims of drugs and alcohol. The idea that we are victims of anything is the typical lie of the degenerate. When an addict loses a job, family, friends, housing, money or custody of a child, that is nobody’s fault but their own. What may I ask is one doing having children as an active drug addict? Nothing on Earth could be more selfish. It is also immature and displays a severe lack of judgment, let alone intelligence. Worse, it signals that there is no conscience inside the addict, for if there were, he and/or she would never choose to abuse a child in this way. Addicts and alcoholics are pathological.

So if you have been brainwashed by waiting room wisdom, pamphlets from your doctor, or anything you see or hear on TV, turn towards God and become honest. Take Steps as they are laid out in the Big Book. Then run towards Christ and seek to do His will with every breath that you take.

 

Don’t Care How You Feel & Don’t Care What You Believe

Posted on by under Action, Beliefs, CBT, Feelings, Talking, Therapy, Whining
Spirituality isn’t about trying to achieve constant rapture. It’s about facing reality and being human. 
*    

     Charlie, we really don’t care how you feel. Getting better has nothing to do with feelings. It’s all action…

     That is by far the most helpful thing anybody has ever said to me. Often when I start working with someone, they go on endless rants about how they feel – “Yeah but this, yeah but that…” It’s always that somehow their addiction makes sense because of how they feel. And the best is that I don’t understand. I don’t understand how they feel so screwed over by someone, so unheard, so misunderstood, so alone, so weak, so useless, so depressed, so not living up to their potential, so blah, blah, blah. Um, yeah, I get it. I whined too about how nobody understands. I justified using drugs and alcohol like an absolute pig because of the way I felt. “Well, you would be drinking and sniffing heroin too if you went through what I went through!”
     Um, no, sorry. Most people don’t do that. And yes, they even suffer, too.

     This is why therapy is such a joke. Addicts who I sponsor say, “Yeah bro, the Steps are great but I also want to dig into my stuff, my feelings. You need to know how I feel, man!” No, I don’t. And fine, call me a sociopath but I really don’t care. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) has it completely backwards. Addicts and alcoholics are so fucked in the head, we can’t think our way into right action. We just need to shut up and start acting our way into right thinking…

     I also don’t care what you believe. It really doesn’t matter compared to what you do. You can believe in the most noble, lofty principles in the world and still be a useless sack. You can believe in every good thing in the world and never truly evolve or grow spiritually. You can have your doctrine of choice memorized front to back and never really change at all. You can be one of those religious show-offs who throws passages around like no other and still be a deranged monster. What matters is what we do, not what we believe.

     Bottom line: Getting better has nothing to do with our feelings. In fact, our feelings quite often prevent us from getting better. The most important thing any addict wanting to get better can do is to drop his preoccupation with SELF. Stop focusing on how you feel because the truth is it doesn’t matter and nobody cares anyway. We need to walk through our feelings without broadcasting them on the nightly news. It is action, not feelings or beliefs, that will ultimately give us freedom.

God, please give me the willingness and the power to grow along spiritual lines…

Whining and Complaining

Posted on by under Addict vs Non-Addict, Complaining, Life Problem, Whining

     Normal people get up and go to work and don’t complain about it. They don’t need to remove the time-release coating from an OC 80, crush it up and sniff the entire thing in one line just to get in the shower. They also don’t need to get plastered to have a conversation with someone. They don’t need to whine and complain incessantly about everything. They don’t need to be so narcissistic as to presume that nobody else in the world suffers the way they do. So don’t even bother asking anything of an alcoholic or drug addict… or a narcissist for that matter. Their life is just way too tough to be giving to anybody else.

     Normal people have bad days too. Normal people wake up sometimes and feel depressed, or anxious, or angry, or sad, or even hopeless. It’s just that they don’t complain about it and drive to Happy Market in Dorchester to meet Pablo for a bag of dope. They just walk right through what they are feeling and do what needs to be done. They are adults. Drug addicts are children… with some additional issues. Why do I feel entitled to make myself comfortable every second of my life? For some reason, I thought that life was all about ME feeling good all of the time.

     Wait, you mean it isn’t? It’s about others too???

     I was such a baby when it came to life. The slightest discomfort would send me reeling, and a frantic search for comfort would ensue. Even if it meant I had to hurt people. Even if it meant I had to become a pathological liar. And most unfortunate, even if it meant I had to define what it means to be a selfish asshole. The sad truth is that we addicts can’t deal with any discomfort.

     Well, guess what?

     It’s okay to suffer a little bit. It’s especially okay to suffer and not complain about it. As grown adults, we have the responsibility to get up and work, take care of ourselves and our families, and be honest. We have the responsibility to do the right thing. It is the human responsibility. What we no longer have is the right to drink or use. We no longer have the right to whine about our feelings or broadcast them to the entire world (who really doesn’t give a shit anyway) in a fit of self-pity or despair. We no longer have the right to let our feelings of discomfort stop us from living life and living right.

God, please give me the wisdom and the willingness to be a better person, a responsible person…